THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Tuesday, July 07, 2009
We note two other small signs of consolation related to the PROFIT CENTER, both from AhtsJournal:
1. A six-month ARTnews investigation and interviews with scholars, dealers, and other sources in the United States, Russia, Germany, France, and Spain reveals that the number of Russian avant-garde fakes on the market is so high that they far outnumber the authentic works. “There are more fakes than genuine pictures,” said Alla Rosenfeld, curator of the Norton Dodge Collection of Soviet Nonconformist Art at Rutgers University from 1992 to 2006 and former vice president of the Russian art department at Sotheby’s New York. It’s impossible to put a number on them, said Natalia Kournikova of Kournikova Gallery in Moscow, but “we can say that almost every artist whose prices have risen has become the victim of fake makers.”
2. The total volume of sales at London’s June auctions of Impressionist and contemporary works declined 70 percent on last year as auction houses cut jobs and guarantees to sellers to adjust to the financial slump....
London’s sales of Impressionist art generated a total of 95.9 million pounds, a contraction of 68 percent on last year. Totals for contemporary art were down 73 percent from 260.9 million pounds to 70 million pounds. It was a similar story in May in New York, where Sotheby’s and Christie’s contemporary auctions registered totals that were respectively 75 percent and 72 percent down on 2008 levels.
At first glance they would have nothing to do with the PROFIT CENTER, but they do: they show that too many people are ready to throw their sense and their money out the window for AHT; that a lot of the people who've overpaid for AHT did so largely to keep up with the Joneses; that AHT is subject to whims and trends of dubious provenance, and often based on no known reason whatsoever; that AHT collectors are so willing to believe they'll buy outright fakes with no due diligence; that AHT, like BIGMEDIA, is ruled by conformists. Moreover the AHT phreaks have at least a vague connection with BIGMEDIA, using them to tout their reps or their prices. That the AHT market is a house of cards does not surprise us; but then BIGMEDIA is too, and in time the spit and tape holding it up will weaken, and the whole rotten flimsy edifice of lies will collapse.
P. S.
A number of prominent art historians who began their careers as academic scholars are authenticating Russian avant-garde works. According to Shatskikh and others, the authenticators often claim to be compiling catalogues raisonnés and promise to include the works they certify in future publications, which gives additional weight to their certificates. These documents are often short—a page or two stating that the work in question can be attributed to a certain artist. They rarely contain specific information about a work’s genesis or detailed comparisons with other similar works by the artist.
NEWS HACKS in the AHT WORLD!
1. A six-month ARTnews investigation and interviews with scholars, dealers, and other sources in the United States, Russia, Germany, France, and Spain reveals that the number of Russian avant-garde fakes on the market is so high that they far outnumber the authentic works. “There are more fakes than genuine pictures,” said Alla Rosenfeld, curator of the Norton Dodge Collection of Soviet Nonconformist Art at Rutgers University from 1992 to 2006 and former vice president of the Russian art department at Sotheby’s New York. It’s impossible to put a number on them, said Natalia Kournikova of Kournikova Gallery in Moscow, but “we can say that almost every artist whose prices have risen has become the victim of fake makers.”
2. The total volume of sales at London’s June auctions of Impressionist and contemporary works declined 70 percent on last year as auction houses cut jobs and guarantees to sellers to adjust to the financial slump....
London’s sales of Impressionist art generated a total of 95.9 million pounds, a contraction of 68 percent on last year. Totals for contemporary art were down 73 percent from 260.9 million pounds to 70 million pounds. It was a similar story in May in New York, where Sotheby’s and Christie’s contemporary auctions registered totals that were respectively 75 percent and 72 percent down on 2008 levels.
At first glance they would have nothing to do with the PROFIT CENTER, but they do: they show that too many people are ready to throw their sense and their money out the window for AHT; that a lot of the people who've overpaid for AHT did so largely to keep up with the Joneses; that AHT is subject to whims and trends of dubious provenance, and often based on no known reason whatsoever; that AHT collectors are so willing to believe they'll buy outright fakes with no due diligence; that AHT, like BIGMEDIA, is ruled by conformists. Moreover the AHT phreaks have at least a vague connection with BIGMEDIA, using them to tout their reps or their prices. That the AHT market is a house of cards does not surprise us; but then BIGMEDIA is too, and in time the spit and tape holding it up will weaken, and the whole rotten flimsy edifice of lies will collapse.
P. S.
A number of prominent art historians who began their careers as academic scholars are authenticating Russian avant-garde works. According to Shatskikh and others, the authenticators often claim to be compiling catalogues raisonnés and promise to include the works they certify in future publications, which gives additional weight to their certificates. These documents are often short—a page or two stating that the work in question can be attributed to a certain artist. They rarely contain specific information about a work’s genesis or detailed comparisons with other similar works by the artist.
NEWS HACKS in the AHT WORLD!
The PROFIT CENTER of the last ten days shows us there must be a way for us Internet users to avoid stories we don't want to hear about, if only for our sanity. The danger, of course, is that one uses such means to avoid unpleasant but necessary stories; but when the hacks focus on making money it becomes extremely necessary. I thus propose that any news organization institute a filter on its Web site to let the reader keep out unwanted stories. A filter's advantage is not only could you keep out PROFIT CENTERS, but the kind of parasitism that goes hand-in-hand with them: movie ad-blurbs, rock-musick ad blurbs, TV ad-blurbs, stories praising anything Hollywood, stories of over 1,500 words that sell something, stories on personal tragedies involving private citizens, stories on the AD BOWL or eating competitions or TWITTER!!!!! and other fads, stories on sudden idiot pundit manias like SARAH!!!!!, soft features on politicians news hacks like (although that would keep out nearly everything on His Omnipotence, but that's a chance one must take) -- and above all, the unavoidable videos that show little and say less than. Heck I'd even turn to USAOKAY!!!!!.com during a manufactured crisis. If junk stories get shunted off to People.com or TMZ.com or the Web fanzines -- who cares? They can have them. With filters in place and enough people using them the hacks might learn to report less on what THEIR CEOs need and more on what WE need -- and even then it's doubtful. Anything, however, to avoid the obsessions and total MALFEASANCE of the last ten days -- and the last TEN MONTHS.
Which reminds us -- DESPITE the PROFIT CENTER, TWX down $0.82 (even with the Cable Nuisance Networks and TMZ), DIS down $0.56, GE BANCORP down $0.47, CBS down $0.31, VIAB down $0.61, NWSA down $0.37, GCI down $0.12, CMCSA down $0.60 -- and poor old MNI down $0.03 to $0.44. AND SNE down $0.93. GOOD!
Which reminds us -- DESPITE the PROFIT CENTER, TWX down $0.82 (even with the Cable Nuisance Networks and TMZ), DIS down $0.56, GE BANCORP down $0.47, CBS down $0.31, VIAB down $0.61, NWSA down $0.37, GCI down $0.12, CMCSA down $0.60 -- and poor old MNI down $0.03 to $0.44. AND SNE down $0.93. GOOD!
And on the day Wacko and the news media are laid to rest:
“Live is growing, but it’s growing unevenly,” PRS’s Page said. “Artists generating these big numbers can be characterised as heritage acts. Yet there are growing concerns with demand for the ‘mid-priced’ touring acts.” The credit crunch has made it difficult to sell tickets to mid-sized venues of 1,000-2,000 seats, he said.
TRANSLATION: Oldies theme parks on the high-end, no-names who won't get any bigger below, and the "music" suffers, as always.
“Live is growing, but it’s growing unevenly,” PRS’s Page said. “Artists generating these big numbers can be characterised as heritage acts. Yet there are growing concerns with demand for the ‘mid-priced’ touring acts.” The credit crunch has made it difficult to sell tickets to mid-sized venues of 1,000-2,000 seats, he said.
TRANSLATION: Oldies theme parks on the high-end, no-names who won't get any bigger below, and the "music" suffers, as always.
TRANSLATION: This depr -- GLOBAL ECONOMY isn't a blip on the screen, whatever the blithe talk about debt.
“The credibility of the Anglo-Saxon model is under threat,” Mohamed El-Erian, chief executive officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., said in a Web commentary last month. “Yet there are no ready substitutes that are able and willing to step in.”
We have two: CHINA and INDIA.
“The credibility of the Anglo-Saxon model is under threat,” Mohamed El-Erian, chief executive officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., said in a Web commentary last month. “Yet there are no ready substitutes that are able and willing to step in.”
We have two: CHINA and INDIA.
I don't know how long this hack has been writing, but judging from this graphic it's been a VERY long time, and we must not forget he was a ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICK, which means it's been a VERY VERY long time. This biz will never solve its problems without younger (or at least different) blood, and some of the tired old blood just doesn't want to circulate out of the newsrooms.
Besides, clod, "It's what the public wants" applies to TWINKIES too.
Haven't enough BIGMEDIA types said how wonderful BIGMEDIA are?
(Via MediaBistro)
Sammy GLICK...MAN's "boring". Sammy thinks he'd make a good senator. Yes, they go together.
P. S. A tribute to SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. A tribute to SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!
President Obama today offered to scrap plans for a missile defence shield in Eastern Europe if Russia helped to stop Iran developing a nuclear bomb.
Your Omnipotence, will you stop running for president?
Even ZEITGEIST says the talkfest won't work.
Which reminds us:
A future executive editor!
Your Omnipotence, will you stop running for president?
Even ZEITGEIST says the talkfest won't work.
Which reminds us:
A future executive editor!
Despite massive government efforts to bolster the credit market, banks are pulling back strongly on card lending. [Seeking Alpha squib]
Oh really?
Oh really?
Al shares the worldview of Paul Wellstone, his late friend who held the same Senate seat before his tragic death during his 2002 reelection campaign. But he is also a pragmatist who will try to find allies for ideas and programs that do not necessarily fit any predictable ideological mold.
TRANSLATION: I've known "Al" for twenty years too!
SHUT UP, NORM ORNSTEIN.
P. S. on 7/10/2009 at 2:35 p. m.
AEI resident scholar Norm Ornstein is not only a longtime friend of new U.S. Senator Al Franken (the two met at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta), he's also Franken's temporary roommate. When the former comedian used to swing through town, he frequently stayed in Ornstein's Capitol Hill house.
Thanks for telling us, MORON.
TRANSLATION: I've known "Al" for twenty years too!
SHUT UP, NORM ORNSTEIN.
P. S. on 7/10/2009 at 2:35 p. m.
AEI resident scholar Norm Ornstein is not only a longtime friend of new U.S. Senator Al Franken (the two met at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta), he's also Franken's temporary roommate. When the former comedian used to swing through town, he frequently stayed in Ornstein's Capitol Hill house.
Thanks for telling us, MORON.
And speaking of profit centers, the ASSPress discovers still more "news":
Panasonic breaks into robotics with medical robot
How much can we hike health-care costs with this one, Panny? Especially since they're dispensing drugs?
Panasonic breaks into robotics with medical robot
How much can we hike health-care costs with this one, Panny? Especially since they're dispensing drugs?
TODAY is NATIONAL PROFIT-CENTER DAY!!!!! When the "NEWS" is all about MAKING PROFITS!!!!! The strange thing is, though, for two or three or five or ten hours the networks conspiring against us won't run any ads! Where will they make the money? Oh, people are watching TV in a season where they wouldn't watch. But what if lots of people decide they don't want to watch TV? Where is the audience then?
The day FRANK MAGID first spoke the words PROFIT CENTER was The Day TV News Died. The good thing is it deserved it.
The day FRANK MAGID first spoke the words PROFIT CENTER was The Day TV News Died. The good thing is it deserved it.
Monday, July 06, 2009
An advertising exec makes a show of contrition:
Most advertising is mediocre at best. And yet every advertisement was approved by someone at some company somewhere in the world. Why didn't the people who approved these mediocre advertisements demand to see "something better?"
The truth is, they thought the ads were good. Actually it's worse. Based on my personal experience in working with advertising people, I believe that most of them thought their advertisements were "great."
And the junk TV they finance with the ads is GREATER!
Most advertising is mediocre at best. And yet every advertisement was approved by someone at some company somewhere in the world. Why didn't the people who approved these mediocre advertisements demand to see "something better?"
The truth is, they thought the ads were good. Actually it's worse. Based on my personal experience in working with advertising people, I believe that most of them thought their advertisements were "great."
And the junk TV they finance with the ads is GREATER!
ARCHDaily!
The problem with modern college dorms is they tend to look like modern college dorms...
...and the problem with modern expensive houses is they tend to look like modern expensive doctors' offices. (Not to knock this design; at least it looks like something.)
The problem with modern college dorms is they tend to look like modern college dorms...
...and the problem with modern expensive houses is they tend to look like modern expensive doctors' offices. (Not to knock this design; at least it looks like something.)
We just noticed this: It's time for PVT. ZELL to fire Mogul's Friend. Here a columnist for the Wall Street Journals writes a reasonable article about the death of film songs and Mog has to Krugmanize over it because the Journals run Nazi editorials. Mog would vastly benefit by seeking paid favors for his press releases, as he worships the ground the studio hacks don't have to walk on; indeed we rather suspect he was crestfallen when The Daily Kaplan reversed itself -- all the more reason for PVT. ZELL to fire him. Besides he can always get a job as a studio flack -- the sort of thing he was born for.
We might further note Mog's tantrum has drawn zero comments, which is too many.
P. S. Using the name Jason Mcgruder, Mog got his interns to write a comment in the original:
The older-skewing acadamy [SIC] has never nominated a Madonna song, for example, despite her having co-written many top 10 hits for movies (Live to Tell, I'll Remember, Beutiful [SIC] Strnager [SIC], Die Another Day, to name a few) while simultaneously nomiting [SIC] so many songs by Randy Newman I have lost count....Of course an old fogie who does not actually know what kids listen to today would dismiss this all as music that is not as good as that old-time jazz...which in own [SIC] early days was dismissed as "negro music."
Mog, you really must get your interns to spell better -- and get their grammar in gear.
P. P. S. We hate to prolong the agony but if today's "music" is so wonderful why are recorded sound and radio in the toilet? And why is the concert racket a glorified oldies show? We've heard enough excuses about three-song playlists and file sharing, and they're true enough as they go, and perhaps the Web understates a given song's popularity, but a good song should become famous whatever the technology. God knows enough bad songs have. And we will not unearth the old line "you get what you pay for." Mog and his interns to the contrary, this is not an age of good songs.
We might further note Mog's tantrum has drawn zero comments, which is too many.
P. S. Using the name Jason Mcgruder, Mog got his interns to write a comment in the original:
The older-skewing acadamy [SIC] has never nominated a Madonna song, for example, despite her having co-written many top 10 hits for movies (Live to Tell, I'll Remember, Beutiful [SIC] Strnager [SIC], Die Another Day, to name a few) while simultaneously nomiting [SIC] so many songs by Randy Newman I have lost count....Of course an old fogie who does not actually know what kids listen to today would dismiss this all as music that is not as good as that old-time jazz...which in own [SIC] early days was dismissed as "negro music."
Mog, you really must get your interns to spell better -- and get their grammar in gear.
P. P. S. We hate to prolong the agony but if today's "music" is so wonderful why are recorded sound and radio in the toilet? And why is the concert racket a glorified oldies show? We've heard enough excuses about three-song playlists and file sharing, and they're true enough as they go, and perhaps the Web understates a given song's popularity, but a good song should become famous whatever the technology. God knows enough bad songs have. And we will not unearth the old line "you get what you pay for." Mog and his interns to the contrary, this is not an age of good songs.
Robert McNamara, the nerdy former auto "Whiz Kid" who helped botch things in Vietnam, then decided he had to apologize for it, has died. RIP.
When your kind of music stinks, what's the solution? Of course -- get the taxpayer to pay for its "improvement"!
This looks like a job for LORD KOPPEL!
This looks like a job for LORD KOPPEL!
The good thing about Hearst's Frisco paper the Daily Dramatic Chronicle shutting down its printing presses and outsourcing to a non-union outfit is that it will enable it to pay more for people to misreport the news and cut down its circ some more and then maybe finally put it out of biz for good.
As The Daily Kaplan's attempt at favor granting proves, the news biz ceased being about the little guy eons ago.
(Via the usual Romy)
As The Daily Kaplan's attempt at favor granting proves, the news biz ceased being about the little guy eons ago.
(Via the usual Romy)
Sunday, July 05, 2009
In the old days future California governor Meg "Mug" Whitman and her crew would disco-dance on their eBay desks over ads like this, but now they meet with a collective shrug, as high-tech sex symbols aren't what they used to be.
I would not want to bet any dough that Mug would be the slightest superior to the lunkhead Ah-NULT.
I would not want to bet any dough that Mug would be the slightest superior to the lunkhead Ah-NULT.
In a contest we would find it hard to decide who could be more disingenuous: His Omnipotence or HENRY HONEST. That said, Hank is on to something when the say Om "had to under-promise and over-deliver", when of course being the candidate of news hacks he over-promised and under-delivered. But this was the second coming of Abe -- it WAS Abe. Right?
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Not everyone uses YouTube to launch their showbiz or political career, but the potential to do so is central to the Web 2.0 narrative that figures in so many newsmagazine panegyrics. [PFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!] When the odds of even 1,000 people viewing your video in a month's time are only 3 percent, however, it's tough to argue that hitting it big on YouTube is anything more than dumb luck. You could argue that this is the way it's always been in show biz, and you'd be right. But wasn't the Web supposed to change all that?
What hasn't the Web changed that it was supposed to change -- for the worse?
What hasn't the Web changed that it was supposed to change -- for the worse?
TRANSLATION: The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers and its member money-wasters will do to the Web what they did to television: finance it indiscriminately, and program to the lowest common denominator.
State Farm Insurance Cos. has sponsored a series of short celebrity-mom interviews, targeting mothers in a conflict-free format that avoids some of the celebrity muckraking of other sites.
"It's not all about traffic," said Ed Gold, the insurance company's advertising director. "Our goal is not to put State Farm into environments that aren't appropriate to our brand...."
Why the concern for the Web you never had for television?
I guess we'll have to add Yahoo! to the list of BIGMEDIA firms we'd like to see suffer, although when His Yangness turned the other cheek to China he put his rattletrap at the top of our S-list, where it still resides.
State Farm Insurance Cos. has sponsored a series of short celebrity-mom interviews, targeting mothers in a conflict-free format that avoids some of the celebrity muckraking of other sites.
"It's not all about traffic," said Ed Gold, the insurance company's advertising director. "Our goal is not to put State Farm into environments that aren't appropriate to our brand...."
Why the concern for the Web you never had for television?
I guess we'll have to add Yahoo! to the list of BIGMEDIA firms we'd like to see suffer, although when His Yangness turned the other cheek to China he put his rattletrap at the top of our S-list, where it still resides.
We repeat what we said before: News hacks openly charging for favors, though despicable, is somewhat more honest than the current practice of doing favors with the weasel word, or the slant, or the advertorial. At least there's a quid pro quo involved, and it's visible, unlike with the invisible favors of the everyday news.
SKorea says North fires 7 missiles off east coast
His Omnipotence and the WORRRRRRRRULD COMMUNITY utter the moral equivalent of "So?"
His Omnipotence and the WORRRRRRRRULD COMMUNITY utter the moral equivalent of "So?"
Friday, July 03, 2009
Well Your Omnipotence, you don't have to be that...depressed!
(Actual ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS screen capture with expanded caption)
Now that the press's latest perfidy is out in the open we think of Marc Blitzstein's musical diatribe The Cradle Will Rock. The lecture centers on a big evil caricature named Mr. Mister (!), who runs everything in Steeltown USA. (!!) Facing a union organizing drive and a revolt of the people he buys out the local paper, which is news to Editor Daily (!!!), who is at first rather dubious, but when he finds out from Mr. Mister, well, anything to oblige. At about this time Mr. Mister's kids Junior Mister and Sister Mister (!!!) are at the age where they might make a fuss -- the thirties equivalent of the Woodstock gang. So Editor Daily (with the kind help of Mr. Mister) proposes to make one of them a "journalist" in Honolulu. As absurd as this all sounds hacks had dealt in fraud long before Blitzstein staged his tantrum*, and they have shafted the public long after.
*Keep in mind that nobody would remember Blitzstein's foot stomping but that the Feds, who helped bankroll the original New York production and were suddenly afraid of Communist influence (!), locked the cast and crew out of their theater before the premiere, forcing its co-producers Orson Welles and John Houseman into one of those genius self-promoting acts for which Welles was always famous, performing the show at another theater from the audience (union rules were to blame). Doubly unfortunate that Blitzstein is remembered almost solely for this ploy (and his translation of The Threepenny Opera) because he was a brilliant and erudite musician, but one who saw the world through red-tinted glasses. (And the dreadful irony is that he was murdered on vacation in Martinique by working-class thugs.)
*Keep in mind that nobody would remember Blitzstein's foot stomping but that the Feds, who helped bankroll the original New York production and were suddenly afraid of Communist influence (!), locked the cast and crew out of their theater before the premiere, forcing its co-producers Orson Welles and John Houseman into one of those genius self-promoting acts for which Welles was always famous, performing the show at another theater from the audience (union rules were to blame). Doubly unfortunate that Blitzstein is remembered almost solely for this ploy (and his translation of The Threepenny Opera) because he was a brilliant and erudite musician, but one who saw the world through red-tinted glasses. (And the dreadful irony is that he was murdered on vacation in Martinique by working-class thugs.)
Meantime in another demonstration that the hacks will continue to do favors, come hell or low profits (the former unlikely because there is no hell; the latter unlikely because there are no low profits in the news biz); CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK contracts out to the "polling" firm that makes JACK'S SECRET-RECIPE ALPHABET SOUP smell good for the purpose of engaging in that annoying USAOKAY!!!!! ruse of uniting the people under the first-person plural. If I had a nickel for every time someone at CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK has denigrated our intelligence or slighted their audience I could pay off that molesting druggie's DEBT so many times over I'd buy PEOPLE WARNER.
That the nooz biz continues to make a stink over L'Affaire Kaplan shows plainly how hypocritical it is. News is all about favors; it is all about power. Being in the loop is part of the magic elixir of being a news hack, the growth hormone for fame and profits. Do a job honestly and conscientiously, "without fear or favor", as the idiot hacks like to harrumph when the public is looking, and you're out of the loop -- and a job. That the hacks are screaming shows we are wise to their machinations, and that we don't expect anything better from them; indeed the presence of this scheme at this time shows we can only expect worse.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
SLIME says the Big C is no good and THE 140-CHARACTER FAD can't be "monetized".
We'll take it from a PRO.
(Via The Business Insider)
We'll take it from a PRO.
(Via The Business Insider)
This won't last; however for the first time news hacks are being honest in treating access as a profit center. In so many areas the hacks should sell their access; they run enough ads.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I have to admit that Al and I have been friends for more than two decades.
Another big, fat, ugly reason the news isn't worth the toilet paper it's printed on.
P. S. Despite JonBoy selling it on Zeitgeist.com's home page it has drawn no comments. Sure Howie's worth the big bucks you pay him? Sure you want to continue financing this irrelevance, ST. WARREN?
Another big, fat, ugly reason the news isn't worth the toilet paper it's printed on.
P. S. Despite JonBoy selling it on Zeitgeist.com's home page it has drawn no comments. Sure Howie's worth the big bucks you pay him? Sure you want to continue financing this irrelevance, ST. WARREN?
The power of technology to do good needs to be weighed against its powers to do evil.
TRANSLATION: The DILBERTS are tipping the scale for evil -- and we know enough of their practical jokes to suspect it may not be all unintentional.
TRANSLATION: The DILBERTS are tipping the scale for evil -- and we know enough of their practical jokes to suspect it may not be all unintentional.
AP source: Jackson kin considering LA Coliseum
TRANSLATION: The top executives of EVERY BIGMEDIA organization are on the phone all day and all night with them, hoping to extend the profits. FURTHER TRANSLATION: This will end up being a ten- or twenty- or fifty-venue insanity raiser. Really, Jeff BEW-kes, do you intend to make this non-story permanent?
It's times like these we wish GanNETt had laid off 10,000. IT MAY YET. After last Friday we will definitely call its flagship McPAPER. Has CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK ever laid off people? Why can't it?
P. S. Is that ASSPress source the same as the LALA source? The HACKS are so fully intent on justifying their overcoverage they'll fight as if on D-Day over ever tinier scoops.
TRANSLATION: The top executives of EVERY BIGMEDIA organization are on the phone all day and all night with them, hoping to extend the profits. FURTHER TRANSLATION: This will end up being a ten- or twenty- or fifty-venue insanity raiser. Really, Jeff BEW-kes, do you intend to make this non-story permanent?
It's times like these we wish GanNETt had laid off 10,000. IT MAY YET. After last Friday we will definitely call its flagship McPAPER. Has CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK ever laid off people? Why can't it?
P. S. Is that ASSPress source the same as the LALA source? The HACKS are so fully intent on justifying their overcoverage they'll fight as if on D-Day over ever tinier scoops.
One thing is clear: long after we cease to hear of Karl Malden, whose unjust curse is to be an Academy-Award winning spokesman for American Express, and Harve Presnell, the fine baritone of The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Cable Nuisance Network will STILL report on His Gloved One.
This depr -- ECONOMY has been hard on twee. We all know what $10 coffee's gone through; now Crabtree and Evelyn, a twee women's skincare retailer, has gone XI. The market, however, still has plenty of twee left to be squeezed out of it. A lot of businesses existed simply because a lot of people owned overpriced houses.
We're not sure what the difference is between Iran's Press TV and your typical American news organization -- both run bias and bromides -- although your typical American news organization might be slightly less likely to say that Neda was a Zionist stooge, or something.
Someone wake the British up when this is over.
Someone wake the British up when this is over.
Shouldn't Jackson be in the "Life" section of the paper? Or on page 2?
Of course he shouldn't -- because he's a PROFIT CENTER!
(Via the usual Romy)
Of course he shouldn't -- because he's a PROFIT CENTER!
(Via the usual Romy)
We have said this before: We feel sad for the many who are losing their jobs in the news biz; indeed we feel sadder because the people who should be fired keep their jobs -- the cement-headed ideologues like EJ and MB2, the ad-blurbists at USAOKAY!!!!!, the idiots who must type their sentences in figurative CAPS and with EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!, the business writers who sleep on the job. Yes, THESE people SHOULD be fired, and they never are.