THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Thursday, October 07, 2010
This year's MICKEY D MONOPOLY® GAME RULES contain
16,311 WORDS
!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S 2,973 WORDS MORE THAN LAST YEAR!
This game may not be OVERTLY fixed, but the presence of so many words suggests it may be COVERTLY fixed.
And the straws announcing the game are MADE IN CHINA.
16,311 WORDS
!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S 2,973 WORDS MORE THAN LAST YEAR!
This game may not be OVERTLY fixed, but the presence of so many words suggests it may be COVERTLY fixed.
And the straws announcing the game are MADE IN CHINA.
In a world of moral equivalence, political correctness, and intentional obtuseness, Tony Blair stands apart. He has quickly become the most cogent and articulate defender of the West in the war against Islamic terror.
He has the money.
He has the money.
Somebody (though it be FORBESLISTBLOG) finally tries to get at the heart of HuffPo:
It's very tough to monetize communities that rely on traffic generated from search (one-third of HuffPo's total) and one-off referrals, such as those from Facebook. Advertisers care deeply about page views--the number of times a visitor views a complete page--and HuffPo's lately haven't kept pace with the doubling of comments on its site. Since May monthly page views have flatlined at roughly 450 million.
That trend discourages advertisers, and suggests problems with the types of visitors to the site and the caliber of its content, which isn't pulling people through an increasing number of pages. Its executives like to tout the site's "high-quality content"--which strains credibility given the preponderance of celebrity bloggers and Friends of Arianna. Perhaps in an effort to achieve premium status, HuffPo recently hired high-profile reporters from the New York Times and Newsweek.
Lots of HuffPo's news pages come from and link to third-party stories from traditional outlets. Former Washington Post executive editor Leonard Downie Jr. slammed sites like HuffPo as "parasites living off journalism produced by others." He attributed HuffPo's success to its appeal to partisan political prejudices and headlines about "titillating gossip and sex." (One wag says it's more like a frat club than a debate club.) Downie may be right about gossip and sex. Recent headlines on HuffPo's entertainment page: "Watch Naked Heidi Klum in Seal's New Video" and "Bridget Moynahan Dating McG?"
OR:
Whatever the outcome, no one can quite envision a HuffPo without its founder.
TRANSLATION: The whole ball of wax melts when the Huff leaves.
It's very tough to monetize communities that rely on traffic generated from search (one-third of HuffPo's total) and one-off referrals, such as those from Facebook. Advertisers care deeply about page views--the number of times a visitor views a complete page--and HuffPo's lately haven't kept pace with the doubling of comments on its site. Since May monthly page views have flatlined at roughly 450 million.
That trend discourages advertisers, and suggests problems with the types of visitors to the site and the caliber of its content, which isn't pulling people through an increasing number of pages. Its executives like to tout the site's "high-quality content"--which strains credibility given the preponderance of celebrity bloggers and Friends of Arianna. Perhaps in an effort to achieve premium status, HuffPo recently hired high-profile reporters from the New York Times and Newsweek.
Lots of HuffPo's news pages come from and link to third-party stories from traditional outlets. Former Washington Post executive editor Leonard Downie Jr. slammed sites like HuffPo as "parasites living off journalism produced by others." He attributed HuffPo's success to its appeal to partisan political prejudices and headlines about "titillating gossip and sex." (One wag says it's more like a frat club than a debate club.) Downie may be right about gossip and sex. Recent headlines on HuffPo's entertainment page: "Watch Naked Heidi Klum in Seal's New Video" and "Bridget Moynahan Dating McG?"
OR:
Whatever the outcome, no one can quite envision a HuffPo without its founder.
TRANSLATION: The whole ball of wax melts when the Huff leaves.
Sarah Palin would not be an effective President, 39% in Tea Party say, according to a new poll
They're finally coming to their senses?
They're finally coming to their senses?
Elsewhere in the great PEOPLE WARNER empire, a blazing statement of the un-obvious:
Oksana Grigorieva: Mel Gibson Needs Help
Oksana Grigorieva: Mel Gibson Needs Help
LOU DOBBS?!? A HYPOCRITE?!?!?!?!?
Who knew?
It figures, by the way, he owns a horse farm, no further comment.
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
Who knew?
It figures, by the way, he owns a horse farm, no further comment.
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
Shucks, the author of the HILARIOUS comic novel Portnoy's Complaint will have to wait until next time.
Now on to the FLOTILLA!
Now on to the FLOTILLA!
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
After November, Obama can only hope that he can outsource the messy work of cuts and budget balancing to the congressional Republicans. Chances are he will demagogue them as heartless while taking credit for an economic rebound once investors, businesses, and corporations see an end to Obamism and its gratuitous slurs against the wealthy, and thus start using their stockpiled trillions to rehire and buy equipment in 2011. [Emphasis added]
Are you saying, Victor, that those two BFFs of con-SER-va-tives, big business and the hyperrich, are actively boycotting His Omnipotence -- and that the boycott will end when the Democratic majority ends?
We will not repeat THE MASTER's line about patriotism, but we must paraphrase ourselves and say any big business that boycotts the public gives itself carte blanche to commit treason.
Are you saying, Victor, that those two BFFs of con-SER-va-tives, big business and the hyperrich, are actively boycotting His Omnipotence -- and that the boycott will end when the Democratic majority ends?
We will not repeat THE MASTER's line about patriotism, but we must paraphrase ourselves and say any big business that boycotts the public gives itself carte blanche to commit treason.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, another MAMMA MIA! comes to film.
We would say Branson East is trying to export its Audio-Animatronics but the movee biz exported first.
We would say Branson East is trying to export its Audio-Animatronics but the movee biz exported first.
After running basest junk these last few days, Atlantic.com gives us a respite -- in a testament to THE SUPERMANNING OF AMERICA and potato-chip bags:
[W]e've always had consumer culture and junk food R&D and sales. But somewhere along the line, it got huge. Innovation meant patenting variations on potato chips and their bags.
We stopped fixing bridges and dams and pipelines -- and started turning out ever more complex variations on things that we already have and that work just damn fine.
But perhaps realizing that we expend massive resources developing chip bags with just the right sound is a good thing. The silliness of the enterprise is the sort of thing that could symbolize why we need to do something different. And then we can, as Silicon Valley luminary Tim O'Reilly likes to say, "work on stuff that matters."
[W]e've always had consumer culture and junk food R&D and sales. But somewhere along the line, it got huge. Innovation meant patenting variations on potato chips and their bags.
We stopped fixing bridges and dams and pipelines -- and started turning out ever more complex variations on things that we already have and that work just damn fine.
But perhaps realizing that we expend massive resources developing chip bags with just the right sound is a good thing. The silliness of the enterprise is the sort of thing that could symbolize why we need to do something different. And then we can, as Silicon Valley luminary Tim O'Reilly likes to say, "work on stuff that matters."
The Dynamite Memorial chemistry prize goes to another of those things mere mortals can't explain.
Now for Philip Roth (Pffffffffffffffft!) and the FLOTILLA!
Now for Philip Roth (Pffffffffffffffft!) and the FLOTILLA!
If Atlantic.com keeps running such BS as this we may remove it from our bookmarks. OK Doug, you got one valuation right, maybe. But dammit, you're glorifying guessing, and that's all you're doing. Who's going to buy WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!'s site? This is just like the days when high-tech speculators could "value" their companies on tiny floats. Such listmaking is why FORBESLISTBLOG makes us cringe. But I guess we can't expect the site of Jim "MURROW" Fallow and Mr. Mellerdrammer to stop running BS.
Now that PINCH has refinanced His debt to CARLOS THE JACKASS, we can officially say: Pinch! The wall. THE WALL!!!!!
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
The prospects in the global real estate sector are “dismal,” with a downturn that could last eight years, the International Monetary Fund warned Wednesday.
GEKKO! DOW 150 GIGAHEXAMEGAHYPERZILLION!!!!!!!!!!
GEKKO! DOW 150 GIGAHEXAMEGAHYPERZILLION!!!!!!!!!!
WAS IT REALLY THE NEW GALLUP POLL THAT DROVE STOCKS UP ALMOST 200 POINTS ON TUESDAY?!?!? THAT BLOCKBUSTER SURVEY, REGARDED BY MANY AS THE BLUE-CHIP GOLD STANDARD FOR ELECTION FORECASTING, POINTED TO AN UNPRECEDENTED REPUBLICAN LANDSLIDE TSUNAMI IN THE GENERIC CONGRESSIONAL RACE!!!!! THAT BLOWOUT COULD INCLUDE A GOP HOUSE GAIN OF 65 TO 70 SEATS, AND A BARE-MAJORITY 10-SEAT PICKUP IN THE SENATE!!!!!!!!!! [Blowout overemphasis added]
Or maybe the Casino finally got the word that HONORARY MAYOR MIKE WILL BE THE NEXT TREASURY SECRETARY!!!!!!!!!!
Or maybe the Casino finally got the word that HONORARY MAYOR MIKE WILL BE THE NEXT TREASURY SECRETARY!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
ARCHDaily!
A bank? A school? a doctor's office?
A "drive-through restaurant"?
Aside from looking like the dream of a man who wants to keep all the sunlight out, this building is made of Cor-Ten steel. See that little out line of rust on the sidewalk? Imagine what this will look like in twenty years!
A bank? A school? a doctor's office?
A "drive-through restaurant"?
Aside from looking like the dream of a man who wants to keep all the sunlight out, this building is made of Cor-Ten steel. See that little out line of rust on the sidewalk? Imagine what this will look like in twenty years!
From a Master of financial dysfunction:
Hewlett-Packard Board Is `Somewhat Dysfunctional,' Welch Says
Hewlett-Packard Board Is `Somewhat Dysfunctional,' Welch Says
The dark side of RENDELLISM: EDDIE insisted if we put a theater in Center City playing original musicals for audiences of ten that would make thousands of jobs for all the waiters and janitors and maids who'd fuel the 21st-century economy. Well, the Prince Music Theater, which seemed dark even when it was open, is facing a sheriff's sale, and next on its stage is most likely a cheap store, or maybe a parking lot. How unpredictable!
P. S. On 10/30/2010 at 4:16 p. m. The day after this story the theater's owners filed for bankruptcy, meaning most likely the only music echoing in that hall for some time will be the footsteps of mice scampering.
P. S. On 10/30/2010 at 4:16 p. m. The day after this story the theater's owners filed for bankruptcy, meaning most likely the only music echoing in that hall for some time will be the footsteps of mice scampering.
HOWIE HAIRSHIRT takes his customer-service department to TINA!!!!!
They must REALLY be handing out the venture capital money there!
(Via The Cute Little Pink Paper)
They must REALLY be handing out the venture capital money there!
(Via The Cute Little Pink Paper)
The latest tweaking of RENDELLISM: burning tax money for rich high-tech firms!
This is why people are angry at our superiors, and why the only way to get back at them is to throw the bums out -- and somehow their tax-money-burning schemes still flourish.
This is why people are angry at our superiors, and why the only way to get back at them is to throw the bums out -- and somehow their tax-money-burning schemes still flourish.
Ben Brantley, today:
Though packed with shiny Shavian dialogue and robustly drawn social archetypes, [Mrs. Warren's Profession] can easily register as an animated debate between two sides, sparked by Vivie’s discovery of the source of her mother’s income.
Me, fourteen months ago, on Terry Teachout's AH-pe-RA:
As Vietnam and Wall Street demonstrate credentials will not inoculate people from their incompetence. But then critics may be beyond creative work because their knowledge of nuts and bolts robs them of inspiration. (We do not exclude Shaw, whose plays are often little more than glorified debates.)
Well, I'm not always wrong -- I hope.
Though packed with shiny Shavian dialogue and robustly drawn social archetypes, [Mrs. Warren's Profession] can easily register as an animated debate between two sides, sparked by Vivie’s discovery of the source of her mother’s income.
Me, fourteen months ago, on Terry Teachout's AH-pe-RA:
As Vietnam and Wall Street demonstrate credentials will not inoculate people from their incompetence. But then critics may be beyond creative work because their knowledge of nuts and bolts robs them of inspiration. (We do not exclude Shaw, whose plays are often little more than glorified debates.)
Well, I'm not always wrong -- I hope.
In truth most of the high-mucky-mucks mentioned here are editors, and we expect editors to be overpaid. But that CHICKEN ZAKARIA would merit near-seven-digits says clowns like MR. BEW-KES or SLIME are as blind to their "talent" as a blind man without a seeing eye dog, and most blind people's intuitions are a lot better. Paying news hacks indiscriminately is the equivalent of advertisers buying time indiscriminately, and for no better reason than to facilitate schmoozing. That so much of the high-profile "talent" earns such frequent ridicule says enough.
The Dynamite Memorial physics prize goes to a couple of scientists who helped perfect touch screens.
Who wins the Literature Prize? And who can top His Omnipotence? We still think they'll give the award to the FLOTILLA.
Who wins the Literature Prize? And who can top His Omnipotence? We still think they'll give the award to the FLOTILLA.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Advise and Consent: His Omnipotence's Stealth Justice may recuse herself from half the Nine Fingers' cases this term, which poses the question of the Senile Chamber: Why advise when all you have to do is consent?
And in further evidence the state press is doing its job:
NEW HIGH COURT ERA: KAGAN MAKES 3 WOMEN ON BENCH!!!!!!!!!! (New-era overemphasis added)
And she's recusing herself from half the cases (we must sheepishly admit in the second graf) -- but this is MORE important!
(Yes, I know, that story's a NewsMAX!!!!! but who else will run it?)
And in further evidence the state press is doing its job:
NEW HIGH COURT ERA: KAGAN MAKES 3 WOMEN ON BENCH!!!!!!!!!! (New-era overemphasis added)
And she's recusing herself from half the cases (we must sheepishly admit in the second graf) -- but this is MORE important!
(Yes, I know, that story's a NewsMAX!!!!! but who else will run it?)
President Barack Obama on Monday said the United States was facing an "untenable fiscal situation" and would have to get serious about tackling its federal deficit.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!
I guess this means we can expect another round of banshee screaming from con-SER-va-tives saying GUVMENT DID IT. And these ARE sociologists. But the housing disaster would not have happened without the concerted efforts of FREE ENTERPRISE.
The Crainiacs find another empty-calorie title to anoint the ADAGE RAG OF THE YEAR!
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
We are very sorry to hear cheating with twenty or thirty women didn't help.
FORE!
(Okay, he won his match.)
FORE!
(Okay, he won his match.)
The one good of a mentally challenged global exobrain is that young people won't listen to as much CHEAP CHANNEL, which nonetheless won't stop the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers from continuing to subsidize it, wired or no.
P. S.
For the first time in at least five years, not a single new show has cracked the top 10 either among total viewers or the advertising-friendly demographic of adults aged 18 to 49, according to the Nielsen Co.
Ditto.
As is customary, poor marketing has been cited as a factor in the demise of some new shows....
But there may be a simpler explanation: The new shows just aren't that good.
TRANSLATION: Snipes and CRITICAL ACCLAIM have their limits.
P. S.
For the first time in at least five years, not a single new show has cracked the top 10 either among total viewers or the advertising-friendly demographic of adults aged 18 to 49, according to the Nielsen Co.
Ditto.
As is customary, poor marketing has been cited as a factor in the demise of some new shows....
But there may be a simpler explanation: The new shows just aren't that good.
TRANSLATION: Snipes and CRITICAL ACCLAIM have their limits.
The sycophantic populist zillionaire LOU DOBBS's former pretty face sez:
MIDTERM ELECTION ROUT COULD SEND MARTS SOARING!!!!! [Soaring overemphasis added]
To which we say, either 1. At these prices the Wall Street Casino's factored that in or 2. That should end when BANEHEAD struggles.
MIDTERM ELECTION ROUT COULD SEND MARTS SOARING!!!!! [Soaring overemphasis added]
To which we say, either 1. At these prices the Wall Street Casino's factored that in or 2. That should end when BANEHEAD struggles.
SIDSWEEK, which in an earlier incarnation predicted that Second Life would take over the planet, is saying the same thing as Wax. Perhaps the electronic toys will create a global "exobrain" (it had to be Mr. Dilbert) but given celebrity twits and people texting non-stop about their bathroom habits we'd bet that brain proves mentally challenged.
Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) lost his driver’s license temporarily this summer because he bounced the check used to pay the renewal fee, according to an Associated Press report.
Let them eat bounced checks!
In addition to Conyers, 11 out of 30 candidates for Congress had marks on their driving record that included 19 speeding tickets, four citations and three suspensions.
No wonder they drive in limos!
Let them eat bounced checks!
In addition to Conyers, 11 out of 30 candidates for Congress had marks on their driving record that included 19 speeding tickets, four citations and three suspensions.
No wonder they drive in limos!
ANOTHER brilliant observation:
True or not, where “The Social Network” misses the point is that it is ostensibly about the greatest communications revolution since moveable [SIC] type.
And yet viewers come away with no sense of how Facebook users actually do communicate. And so what was supposed to be a zeitgeist movie is, instead, a vehicle for elite Hollywood’s talents to blithely, if unwittingly, demonstrate how out-of-touch they are with what’s going on out there.
Out of touch, Wax? You SURE?
But we will say when a hack like the Wax refers to "the greatest communications revolution since moveable [SIC] type" we must keep our eyes peeled behind our backs.
True or not, where “The Social Network” misses the point is that it is ostensibly about the greatest communications revolution since moveable [SIC] type.
And yet viewers come away with no sense of how Facebook users actually do communicate. And so what was supposed to be a zeitgeist movie is, instead, a vehicle for elite Hollywood’s talents to blithely, if unwittingly, demonstrate how out-of-touch they are with what’s going on out there.
Out of touch, Wax? You SURE?
But we will say when a hack like the Wax refers to "the greatest communications revolution since moveable [SIC] type" we must keep our eyes peeled behind our backs.
The show-biz hacks have just invented another GENIUS!
Just because you commissioned a few "CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED" "HITS" watched by maybe two million does not add brain cells.
Just because you commissioned a few "CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED" "HITS" watched by maybe two million does not add brain cells.
We are sorry to hear that Art Gilmore, the voice of Red Skelton (well, he was) and Highway Patrol and countless movie trailers, has died. We seldom think The Paper of Re-CORD insightful except in a bad sense but this time they've got it more or less right, despite those adjectives: "His voice — crisp and articulate, just a tad piercing, cagily pitched to the subject matter and inflected with a precisely calibrated measure of enthusiasm — was as recognizable as a theme song." Yes, they just don't make voices like that anymore.
The veritable inventor of in-vitro fertilization has won the first of the Dynamite Memorial Awards. As there will be much talk surrounding this award of "ethics" we can safely assume they've been swept into the dustbin of history, as any session of Congress will prove. Our only solace is that most of the names and accomplishments of the Dynamite Memorial science prizes are obscure even in their professions, and as last year's HEROISM proved we must take all the prizes as bromides.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. Stuck with its equity building name, PEOPLE WARNER CABLE is changing its logo, removing the last vestiges of a funeral director and SYNERGY. When Steve Ross (Steve Who?) devised this eye 'n' ear for his squooshed-together media monster PEOPLE WARNER back in 1990 the scribblers at TIME INC.!!!!!!!!!! fumed because they thought it was relegating them to the newly merged company's basement -- why, hadn't their patented sycophancy made the wedding possible? But he'd spent a small fortune on a prime-time ABC show touting the world-saving benefits of the merger, a precursor of the world saving of the late GERRY LEVIN, and he no doubt spent another small fortune on the logo, so it had to go someplace, and it eventually wound up with the cable unit. Now that the cable unit's split from PEOPLE WARNER there's no further need for Steve Who or his fictions.
2. And speaking of SYNERGY, there's no need for CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK to worry where its next meal will come from, so long as it can steal from the cupboards of its turnips, and further convince the generous sugar daddies there's a place for irrelevance in the news, and though all the cable news nuisances fight daily to be irrelevant for now it is no contest.
1. Stuck with its equity building name, PEOPLE WARNER CABLE is changing its logo, removing the last vestiges of a funeral director and SYNERGY. When Steve Ross (Steve Who?) devised this eye 'n' ear for his squooshed-together media monster PEOPLE WARNER back in 1990 the scribblers at TIME INC.!!!!!!!!!! fumed because they thought it was relegating them to the newly merged company's basement -- why, hadn't their patented sycophancy made the wedding possible? But he'd spent a small fortune on a prime-time ABC show touting the world-saving benefits of the merger, a precursor of the world saving of the late GERRY LEVIN, and he no doubt spent another small fortune on the logo, so it had to go someplace, and it eventually wound up with the cable unit. Now that the cable unit's split from PEOPLE WARNER there's no further need for Steve Who or his fictions.
2. And speaking of SYNERGY, there's no need for CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK to worry where its next meal will come from, so long as it can steal from the cupboards of its turnips, and further convince the generous sugar daddies there's a place for irrelevance in the news, and though all the cable news nuisances fight daily to be irrelevant for now it is no contest.
Speaking of OUTSOURCED, I finally got my brand spanking new homemade computer to work, but it wasn't without teething pains: it took me a week to learn that the HDMI-equipped GPU overrode the motherboard audio, and that the only solution was an HDMI cable to my monitor; and fiddling with the memory to procure its rated speed caused so many BSODs (the dreaded Event ID 41) I tried switching it around and got something worse, an F3 F6 boot loop; I feared I've have to RMA my motherboard and my Intel i7-950. Fortunately removing the CMOS battery for two nights solved that one. If I do try again I'm e-mailing Corsair.
I will say Windows 7 is a darned sight better than XP. I can't get used, however, to the permanent ClearType, much of which looks washed-out even on a monitor like an ASUS VH236H; and I'm annoyed I can't play my rigged Monopoly CD game because the BUGMEISTERS banished 16-bit from the premises (though the disc includes a 32-bit version); nor can I play Solitaire because they added so many play-slowing bells and whistles, and to use the old version you have to go into XP mode. Now to get a DSLR, and a new pair of computer speakers.
P. S. on 10/4/2010 at 8:32 a. m. Evidently enough people object to ClearType that it's possible to rid it, but if I know the BUGMEISTERS ridding it doesn't work quite properly.
I will say Windows 7 is a darned sight better than XP. I can't get used, however, to the permanent ClearType, much of which looks washed-out even on a monitor like an ASUS VH236H; and I'm annoyed I can't play my rigged Monopoly CD game because the BUGMEISTERS banished 16-bit from the premises (though the disc includes a 32-bit version); nor can I play Solitaire because they added so many play-slowing bells and whistles, and to use the old version you have to go into XP mode. Now to get a DSLR, and a new pair of computer speakers.
P. S. on 10/4/2010 at 8:32 a. m. Evidently enough people object to ClearType that it's possible to rid it, but if I know the BUGMEISTERS ridding it doesn't work quite properly.
I'm touched: Levi Strauss, a company that shipped more jobs overseas than most, is running an AD CAMPAIGN highlighting all the people out of work. Only a BELTWAY FRAUD or MADAVE could have come up with something as preposterous as this.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO "NPR STAFF"! (CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk)
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO "NPR STAFF"! (CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk CLUNKclunk)
Saturday, October 02, 2010
You're a SONDHEIMANIAC. You're in the know; you believe The Paper of Re-CORD is God's word and Frank Rich is Moses. Being in the know you think HERR DOKTOR's shows are immortal. You immersed yourself in A Little Night Music despite its stunt casting and cheap sets and shriveled arrangements to revel in the total sound world of a GENIUS. He is so much better than his competition -- he's said so himself -- he could never be linked to an everyday, ordinary, plebeian talent like, say, Elvis Presley. Could he?
Alas, he could be -- and very strongly so.
Here's a name for you -- Gene Nelson. The SONDHEIMANIACS worship him as one of the stars of the original production of Follies, a show so God-enriched it has not been revived in Branson East since its opening rapture (though it has received about a thousand concert renditions, meaning it MUST be opera). Unfortunately for them Nelson directed two of Elvis's grungiest programmers -- Kissin' Cousins and Harum Scarum. (As you can see from above he also co-wrote the former.) And these men liked and respected each other. In his very factual and very dull biography of Presley Peter Guralnick relates that as a truck driver in Memphis Elvis went to the movies and saw Nelson do a strenuously acrobatic routine on gymnastics equipment in a rather lame Warners spectacular She's Working Her Way Through College, and was quite impressed. (That film, a musical adaptation of the hoary James Thurber - Elliott Nugent academic sitcom The Male Animal, starred Ronald Reagan and has possibly the first of those memorable caricatures of him with the pointy hair -- on a blackboard.) Elvis told Nelson and they struck it off. Indeed we'd wager Nelson has a stronger connection to Elvis than to HERR DOKTOR.
Say what you will of Elvis's programmers, and we've said it, people will still listen to the "immortal nuances" of Ben Weisman long after Anyone Can Whistle trundles off permanently to the theater graveyard.
Oh -- and we haven't mentioned Angela Lansbury. Have we?
Or that the Rodgers and Hammerstein Organization bought a big chunk of Elvis's catalog?
And here's the poster art for one of HERR DOKTOR's masterworks. Strange, is it not?
P. S. on 11/13/2010 at 8:52 p. m. I'm afraid I've found another connection between Elvis and HERR DOKTOR: John Carradine, co-star of the inaptly titled The Trouble with Girls (and How to Get Into It), played the "procurer" Marcus Lycus for fifteen months in the original Broadway production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. So there, SONDHEIMANIACS!
P. P. S. We were rather hoping for a connection with the ethereal Juliet Prowse, who did star in the original London production of Sweet Charity (co-written by Cy Coleman, who wrote "Witchcraft", which -- never mind), but alas, no dice.
P. P. P. S. on 11/14/2010 at 6:10 p. m. WRONG!!!!! She starred in A 1990 PRODUCTION OF FOLLIES IN LOS ANGELES!!!!!!!!!!
P. P. P. P. S. at 6:52 p. m. DEAN JONES STARRED IN COMPANY!!!!! (One suspects the SONDHEIMANIACS have never forgiven him because he quit after a month, and also because he was in a weird phase then, as witness his later appearances on THE PTL CLUB -- but this counts.)
ARCHDaily!
A $5 million optical store!
A $10 million hole in the ground!
A $20 million stairwell to nowhere!
A $5 million optical store!
A $10 million hole in the ground!
A $20 million stairwell to nowhere!
Friday, October 01, 2010
The backlash has begun, and we forget there wouldn't be backlashes if the hacks did their jobs in the first place -- as Prof. Shafer demonstrates again HERE.
AHTSJournal again:
Bad News: Digital Music Sales Flat In 2010 [Needless double link to a Reut story]
Bad news? GOOD news!
Bad News: Digital Music Sales Flat In 2010 [Needless double link to a Reut story]
Bad news? GOOD news!
If CARLOS THE JACKASS turns His free Boston site into a repository of travel tips and cute cat pictures He may as well wall the whole thing off.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
Phil Gramm says our...ECONOMY reminds him of the Great Depression.
He should know -- he helped create it.
(Via -- oh well - NRO)
He should know -- he helped create it.
(Via -- oh well - NRO)
I wrote on watching television as work long before David Carr and JPOD did, which makes the obvious sense of their argument even more maddening.
On THIS, the natal day of EINSTEIN'S FOURTH GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY, Facebook, as divined by Ben Jonson -- in 1606, in Volpone, and in the form of Sir Politic Wouldbe (!), a cross between LORD KISSINGER and LORD KOPPEL:
SIR P: ...This is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day.
PER[EGRINE]: Pray you let's see, sir. What is here?
[READS.]
"Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new, and did go forth: but first
I threw three beans over the threshold. Item,
I went and bought two tooth-picks, whereof one
I burst immediately, in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant, 'bout ragion del stato.
From him I went and paid a moccinigo,
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapen'd sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined."
'Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR P: Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, but thus I quote it.
PER: Believe me, it is wise!
SIR P: Nay, sir, read forth.
He also anticipates conspiracy theories, conspicuous consumption, blind faith in technology and yuppies, but that's another story.
SIR P: ...This is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day.
PER[EGRINE]: Pray you let's see, sir. What is here?
[READS.]
"Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new, and did go forth: but first
I threw three beans over the threshold. Item,
I went and bought two tooth-picks, whereof one
I burst immediately, in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant, 'bout ragion del stato.
From him I went and paid a moccinigo,
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapen'd sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined."
'Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR P: Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, but thus I quote it.
PER: Believe me, it is wise!
SIR P: Nay, sir, read forth.
He also anticipates conspiracy theories, conspicuous consumption, blind faith in technology and yuppies, but that's another story.