THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Sunday, March 06, 2011
OOOOOOOOooooooooh, speaking of show-biz PR USAOKAY!!!!! seems to have given the Gang of 27 a day off so it could do a special investigative report hinting school test-score results may be inflated!
I am astonished! At both.
I am astonished! At both.
God, harping on this topic is like a deaf man talking to himself, but the professional cheerleaders seem to have conceded the movee biz is unsalvageable. Granted this typist honors two old bromides: that the sixtiesearlyseventies were a GOLDEN AGE, and that TV IS BETTER THAN EVER!!!!! As to the first, the "foment" that led to a GOLDEN AGE also led to the conditions that make the biz unsalvageable, primarily the ossification of its business structure, but also the ossification of its brains; the same GOLDEN AGE that created Pauline Kael's Top 10 also created LUKE SPIELBERG. As to the second, most TV is produced by the same studios that disgorge dreck. What in Hollywood's drinking water causes a project to bloom when it becomes TV? Our magical writer doesn't know, and he probably wouldn't want to, but in his three-left-footed sixteen-toed way he admits BETTER-THAN-EVER TV is a fringe thing, a cult thing, and as we've said a million times art for the thousands will never be good. He is also very careful to say "adult" films "often end up with an R rating, which puts a ceiling on their earning capacity and makes a modest budget absolutely essential." So why not make adult films with broader appeal? Why must they have R ratings? Or is that your version of Linus's security blanket? Mark Harrises will guarantee movees stink just as much as the testosterone crowd, and the fact this article has garnered seven comments in about three weeks shows its hopelessness, and its irrelevance.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, where this resounds like the Lord's word)
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, where this resounds like the Lord's word)
Saturday, March 05, 2011
We don't want to make too much of this but we wonder: MR. STAR WARS just came out with a new animation, and it's dying at the B. O. We gather He is deeply unpopular, first, for being a control phreak and trying to strangle His fans, and second for wasting so much of the public's time and money with SPACE JUNK; His opus maximus is as much a period piece as disco. If this new masterpiece is dying because of its provenance this portends very serious trouble for the movee biz; the fans may now be armed for revenge, and they have many targets; and while MR. STAR WARS tops the list the TENTPOLES represent bull's eyes for an angry audience to aim its arrows at, especially as they represent a cumulative hundreds of recyclings. Most likely they'll do their land-office business but perhaps the public will finally realize it's being sold property around Love Canal.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Few things exasperate me more than hearing we're in a SUPERMEGAPLATINUM AGE OF TELEVISION!!!!!!!!! First, there's a difference between good programming and CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED. Supermegaplatinum TV is the latter, consumed by an obsessive core audience that we'd guess is overwhelmingly coastal and liberal, and that takes almost conformist cues from fellow hardcore TV fans. This makes their masterpieces niche programming, with no hope whatever of achieving the wide appeal art needs to survive. We'd guess much of the supermegaplatinum stuff shares traits that appeal to niche viewers: "edge", profanity, dark photography, sledgehammer irony, and references to other CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED programs. In short it's TV's version of a circular argument, one it can never lose, but one that those who'd do without programming made in a straitjacket can never win. And most people don't want to THINK when they watch television, and though the medium's too much a diet of sedatives few want the electronic equivalent of AMPHETAMINES, especially when they're sold as GOOD FOR YOU. Hence the "success" of reality programs, whose fans at least have the honesty to want to be stupid once in a while.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
We don't see why John Mackey should be mad at the scorners. His customers can AFFORD "Whole Paycheck"!
Oh John, and saying that buying at Whole Paycheck is less expensive because you eat better is like JACK VALENTI II saying movees are better because they cost more.
Oh John, and saying that buying at Whole Paycheck is less expensive because you eat better is like JACK VALENTI II saying movees are better because they cost more.
We heard of this story from one of those Web sites that likes to be cute about such things while channeling Frank Rich on conservatives (DailyBeastVultureNewser, you know). This sort of transgressive malarkey goes hand in hand with living tattoo museums, just as PC does with huge business skools. Kolejes stand for little more than self-preservation, and they're part of the EDS 'n' MEDS disaster because when students (and especially their parents) have a reason not to attend -- and the Web and the news give them increasingly good ones -- there goes their boondoggling. Too many of society's institutions deserve a comeuppance, which is why the RICH-ONLY ECONOMIC BOOM exasperates us; it gives the most corrupt of them a second wind, more like a second hundredth; but they're still corrupt, and an energized public can still make them fall.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Sadly, we can't rescind the First Amendment just because someone has hurt someone else's feelings. I tend not to take this odious group seriously because it, like a certain sitcom ac-TOR, has an obsessive need to get itself exposed, but that doesn't mean we should take the First Amendment less seriously.
The GOP needs someone with a high name ID to announce that he or she is running for president and then become the party’s de facto spokesperson.
Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Surprising: TV is now so much BETTER THAN EVER!!!!! the actors on one series can't identify their writers.
"The bountiful years, we want to emphasize, will never return," writes Buffett in his letter. "The huge sums of capital we currently manage eliminate any chance of exceptional performance."
TRANSLATION: St. Warrendom has become too big to fail!
TRANSLATION: St. Warrendom has become too big to fail!
"The unions are the most powerful political group in the country today … Their power in politics is unprecedented. And without the unions, the Democrat Party fades away," DeMint said, licking his lips and rubbing his hands vigorously. [Last eight words added]
We know, Rushbo -- er, JIM, we KNOW, BOTH sides have people they'd LOVE to VAPORIZE.
And Rushbo -- er, JIM, why is the answer to the DEMOCRAT PARTY's form of authoritarian government YOURS?
We know, Rushbo -- er, JIM, we KNOW, BOTH sides have people they'd LOVE to VAPORIZE.
And Rushbo -- er, JIM, why is the answer to the DEMOCRAT PARTY's form of authoritarian government YOURS?
TRANSLATION: The company that makes 80 QUADRAHEXAGIGAZILLIONS selling $500 ghetto sneakers made by three-cent-an-hour help may be thinking self-defense because It stole Its Swoosh from NEWPORT CIGARETTES, NOT A WAFFLE IRON.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Early photos of Williams in costume and makeup are uncanny.
BRING BACK MR. MELLERDRAMMER!!!!!
And since young Kevin (who's just earned himself a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!) couldn't be bothered to get the link right, here it is -- and as we've thus far spotted only five stills associated with this masterwork, including one here, we'd guess even the producers don't believe it.
BRING BACK MR. MELLERDRAMMER!!!!!
And since young Kevin (who's just earned himself a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!) couldn't be bothered to get the link right, here it is -- and as we've thus far spotted only five stills associated with this masterwork, including one here, we'd guess even the producers don't believe it.
NOT ARCHDaily!
Looks like a elementary school in the 70's [Business Insider commenter SICs]
For $4 million, you too can live in a community recreation center.
Pee Wee's Playhouse is for sale???
Looks like more of a work of ass than than a work of art.
it'll sell for $250K in 43 months from now [More Business Insider commenter SICs]
It's in THE HAMPTONS and it's selling for $4 MILLION. Go for it!
Looks like a elementary school in the 70's [Business Insider commenter SICs]
For $4 million, you too can live in a community recreation center.
Pee Wee's Playhouse is for sale???
Looks like more of a work of ass than than a work of art.
it'll sell for $250K in 43 months from now [More Business Insider commenter SICs]
It's in THE HAMPTONS and it's selling for $4 MILLION. Go for it!
Yesterday: BRKA up $3,750.00
Today: BRKA down $3,250.00
What Gods giveth the Masters of the Universe taketh away.
Today: BRKA down $3,250.00
What Gods giveth the Masters of the Universe taketh away.
Bernie Madoff, seeking to atone for an unatonable life, tries redemption through news hacks, starting with mixed results. The opening grafs, however, give us pause, and far more than the story itself:
Bernard L. Madoff is in therapy. Each week, he waits for the signal that prisoners are allowed to leave their housing units, then he walks the five minutes from his “room,” as he calls it, to the psychiatric unit at the Federal Correctional Institution in Butner, North Carolina, where he can unburden himself. The sessions are often teary.
“How could I have done this?” he asks. “I was making a lot of money. I didn’t need the money. [Am I] a flawed character?”
In some ways, Madoff has not tried to evade blame. He has made a full confession, telling me again and again that nothing justifies what he did. And yet, for Madoff, that doesn’t settle the matter. He feels misunderstood. He can’t bear the thought that people think he’s evil. “I’m not the kind of person I’m being portrayed as,” he told me.
And so, sitting alone with his therapist, in the prison khakis he irons himself, he seeks reassurance. “Everybody on the outside kept claiming I was a sociopath,” Madoff told her one day. “I asked her, ‘Am I a sociopath?’” He waited expectantly, his eyelids squeezing open and shut, that famous tic. “She said, ‘You’re absolutely not a sociopath. You have morals. You have remorse.’” Madoff paused as he related this. His voice settled. He said to me, “I am a good person.”
This uncomfortably reminds us of Pat Robertson's idea of being born again, which did not preclude Hitler or Stalin from being "saved". If anyone can be saved there is no salvation. Psychotherapy is a secular religion, delivering faith through self-esteem. Woodster has been a believer for decades which did not stop him from being a total pervert. Bernie's following the same well-rutted (no pun intended) path. The only honest answer would be to admit that yes, Bernie, you are a sociopath -- and worse -- but that does not prevent you from seeking even the very limited redemption you deserve. That Bernie's session passes for psychotherapy shows the limits of false gods.
Bernard L. Madoff is in therapy. Each week, he waits for the signal that prisoners are allowed to leave their housing units, then he walks the five minutes from his “room,” as he calls it, to the psychiatric unit at the Federal Correctional Institution in Butner, North Carolina, where he can unburden himself. The sessions are often teary.
“How could I have done this?” he asks. “I was making a lot of money. I didn’t need the money. [Am I] a flawed character?”
In some ways, Madoff has not tried to evade blame. He has made a full confession, telling me again and again that nothing justifies what he did. And yet, for Madoff, that doesn’t settle the matter. He feels misunderstood. He can’t bear the thought that people think he’s evil. “I’m not the kind of person I’m being portrayed as,” he told me.
And so, sitting alone with his therapist, in the prison khakis he irons himself, he seeks reassurance. “Everybody on the outside kept claiming I was a sociopath,” Madoff told her one day. “I asked her, ‘Am I a sociopath?’” He waited expectantly, his eyelids squeezing open and shut, that famous tic. “She said, ‘You’re absolutely not a sociopath. You have morals. You have remorse.’” Madoff paused as he related this. His voice settled. He said to me, “I am a good person.”
This uncomfortably reminds us of Pat Robertson's idea of being born again, which did not preclude Hitler or Stalin from being "saved". If anyone can be saved there is no salvation. Psychotherapy is a secular religion, delivering faith through self-esteem. Woodster has been a believer for decades which did not stop him from being a total pervert. Bernie's following the same well-rutted (no pun intended) path. The only honest answer would be to admit that yes, Bernie, you are a sociopath -- and worse -- but that does not prevent you from seeking even the very limited redemption you deserve. That Bernie's session passes for psychotherapy shows the limits of false gods.
Matthew Rutler was swarmed by more than 30 photographers and reporters when he exited the West Hollywood sheriff's station Tuesday morning.
And we know how many thousands of "reporters" covered the -- well, you know what arthouse awards; and don't forget The Gang of 27.
We confess we have a certain fascination for this..."singer"'s tribulations; it's always nice seeing superrich no-talents get into trouble. That said, somewhere, something is being underreported. News hacks will excuse themselves by saying, "Well we can't get in to Libya and besides, it's so dangerous!" You guys have stolen top-secret documents often enough, so you know danger. No, you don't want to be bothered, except for profits.
And we know how many thousands of "reporters" covered the -- well, you know what arthouse awards; and don't forget The Gang of 27.
We confess we have a certain fascination for this..."singer"'s tribulations; it's always nice seeing superrich no-talents get into trouble. That said, somewhere, something is being underreported. News hacks will excuse themselves by saying, "Well we can't get in to Libya and besides, it's so dangerous!" You guys have stolen top-secret documents often enough, so you know danger. No, you don't want to be bothered, except for profits.
TRAGEDY IN FILLUMDOM: We promise this is the LAST we say about the Os-CAR®S, but the direc-TOR of an epochal A-ca-de-my A-WARD®-ed documentary on our financial meltdown forgot to thank his sugar daddy -- Jeffrey Lurie, the owner of our IGGLES®, who no doubt knew a few people who brought on the meltdown. Indeed we say by being part of the NFL®'s cabal he helped bring on the meltdown. Oh well, turnabout's fair play, and you pays your money and he gets his...Os-CAR®.