THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Action man! Will Smith throws himself out of a window as he does his own death-defying stunts filming Men In Black III!!!!! (Action overemphasis added)
Yes, I think I see why WALTER WINCHELL!!!!! links to "DM". Sort of like his death-defying blurbs.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (British edition) TO JODY!
A PANACEA FOR OUR ECONOMY:
Northeast Ohio is among a growing number of regions that are combating the loss of traditional factory jobs by developing industry clusters in fields such as biomedicine [government support, check], renewable energy [check] and aerospace [check]. Besides medical devices, the Cleveland area — a more than century-old stronghold for auto, rubber and glass making — aims to carve out niches in clean energy [check] and flexible electronics [since it sounds weird -- check].
Wow! A 1.000 BATTING AVERAGE!
Now, the federal government is stepping in. President Obama's fiscal 2012 budget proposes a competition to identify 20 potential clusters that would receive a share of $2.5 billion in financial incentives. A separate program involving 16 U.S. agencies aims to advance existing industry hubs. With a report Friday showing job growth slowing, officials say funding for innovation is needed to expand payrolls.
CHECKS!
Northeast Ohio is among a growing number of regions that are combating the loss of traditional factory jobs by developing industry clusters in fields such as biomedicine [government support, check], renewable energy [check] and aerospace [check]. Besides medical devices, the Cleveland area — a more than century-old stronghold for auto, rubber and glass making — aims to carve out niches in clean energy [check] and flexible electronics [since it sounds weird -- check].
Wow! A 1.000 BATTING AVERAGE!
Now, the federal government is stepping in. President Obama's fiscal 2012 budget proposes a competition to identify 20 potential clusters that would receive a share of $2.5 billion in financial incentives. A separate program involving 16 U.S. agencies aims to advance existing industry hubs. With a report Friday showing job growth slowing, officials say funding for innovation is needed to expand payrolls.
CHECKS!
AP Sources: NBC retains Olympic rights for 4 games
BRIAN OVERPAID!
Oh wait. With the TURNIPS he DIDN'T.
P. S. at 2:00 p. m. Why would BRIAN need to sell the Sixers to "pay for the Olympics"?
BRIAN OVERPAID!
Oh wait. With the TURNIPS he DIDN'T.
P. S. at 2:00 p. m. Why would BRIAN need to sell the Sixers to "pay for the Olympics"?
Outages have become something of a regular nuisance for Skype users, myself included. In late May Skype experienced an outage that lasted several hours and affected users from around the world, while last December, around Christmas time, the Internet telephony service went down for about 20 million users. Here’s hoping this outage isn’t as big or disruptive.
Here's hoping it doesn't mean $8.5 BILLION down the drain for Redmond!
Here's hoping it doesn't mean $8.5 BILLION down the drain for Redmond!
Anthem Blue Cross won't accept automatic credit card payments anymore
Anthem Blue Cross informs customers that the payment method will be discontinued Aug. 1. Those who want to keep paying with credit cards will have to call a service rep and be charged a $15 'convenience fee.'
Free en-ter-prise at work!
Anthem Blue Cross informs customers that the payment method will be discontinued Aug. 1. Those who want to keep paying with credit cards will have to call a service rep and be charged a $15 'convenience fee.'
Free en-ter-prise at work!
Seeing how ED MURROW's a dear, dear, DEAR friend of WEENER you'd think somebody like ROMY would call him out over this -- conflict of interest. But no, truth tellers are truth tellers even when slandered by their friendships.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Here are the 10 best Weinergate tweets of the day.
1. "STEVE MARTIN IS REALLY OILED AND BUFF. OMG, my Twitter account was just hacked." - Steve Martin
2. "Weiner-gate is teaching me a few things..if a pic posted of my weener on web looks big: i posted it, if its small, my account was hacked." -David Spade
3. "Just my luck! On the same day I find out it's bad to tweet dirty pictures, FedEx shows up w/ all that penis make-up I ordered!" - Andy Richter
4. "Tattoo it on your chest, MEMENTO-style, Weiner: 'The Internet is forever."" -Patton Oswalt
5. "Anthony Weiner skipped the Israel Day Parade. It's ok--he's already supported Israel by showing everyone that he's Jewish. #weinergate" -Joy Behar
6. "To all my followers: I"m sorry I lied, that was not a photo of me in my tighty-whities." -Chad Lowe
7. "Your turn, Blake Lively. It's okay. You won't have to resign from The Green Lantern." -Watch What Happens Live! writer Caissie St. Onge
8. "BREAKING: Rep. Anthony Weiner admits the Twitter pics are his. He also said, 'When I took the pics it was really really cold." -Late Show with David Letterman head writer/executive producer Justin Stangel
9. "A historic day for trivial Twitter fame. Charlie Sheen has called Anthony Weiner to offer his concession." -Arianna Huffington
10. "Can I just say that based on current events the stories for Scandal practically write themselves right now?" - Shonda Rhimes
If these were the ten best WHAT WERE THE...oh, never mind.
1. "STEVE MARTIN IS REALLY OILED AND BUFF. OMG, my Twitter account was just hacked." - Steve Martin
2. "Weiner-gate is teaching me a few things..if a pic posted of my weener on web looks big: i posted it, if its small, my account was hacked." -David Spade
3. "Just my luck! On the same day I find out it's bad to tweet dirty pictures, FedEx shows up w/ all that penis make-up I ordered!" - Andy Richter
4. "Tattoo it on your chest, MEMENTO-style, Weiner: 'The Internet is forever."" -Patton Oswalt
5. "Anthony Weiner skipped the Israel Day Parade. It's ok--he's already supported Israel by showing everyone that he's Jewish. #weinergate" -Joy Behar
6. "To all my followers: I"m sorry I lied, that was not a photo of me in my tighty-whities." -Chad Lowe
7. "Your turn, Blake Lively. It's okay. You won't have to resign from The Green Lantern." -Watch What Happens Live! writer Caissie St. Onge
8. "BREAKING: Rep. Anthony Weiner admits the Twitter pics are his. He also said, 'When I took the pics it was really really cold." -Late Show with David Letterman head writer/executive producer Justin Stangel
9. "A historic day for trivial Twitter fame. Charlie Sheen has called Anthony Weiner to offer his concession." -Arianna Huffington
10. "Can I just say that based on current events the stories for Scandal practically write themselves right now?" - Shonda Rhimes
If these were the ten best WHAT WERE THE...oh, never mind.
The hacks are celebrating a Lincoln's Second Inaugural moment as this generation's version of Madeline Kahn says something that, in the rancid world they helped create, strikes their withered souls as reverberant common sense, especially as they possess so little of it.
Of course more people everywhere are oafs because the Web and all those unnecessary electronic toys demand it. This story pains us because we could not go up to a woman in the meekest, humblest way without being slapped; yet WEENER has girls throwing themselves at him when they'd be better off throwing him from a cliff. (And possibly themselves too as they're the type whose political ambitions would make the decline of the Roman Empire look good.) A man who must take pictures of his privies has nothing to boast of.
A richly deserved reward:
BCS officially strips USC of 2004 title
The idea of Jim's Jet-Smooth Riders avoiding the death penalty seems ever so slightly less tenable.
Oddly enough it's still the ASSPress's champion, which should make its JUDGMENTAL political reporting in 2012 a little less tolerable.
BCS officially strips USC of 2004 title
The idea of Jim's Jet-Smooth Riders avoiding the death penalty seems ever so slightly less tenable.
Oddly enough it's still the ASSPress's champion, which should make its JUDGMENTAL political reporting in 2012 a little less tolerable.
Other words we come to hate because the news hacks loudly misuse them until they have meanings separate from any dictionary. I'm sure these were two fine people but to call them "legends" stretches the word until it screams, and hype is the enemy of a good obituary. I'm tired of the hacks' bansheeing tortures.
These two stories link to one of my least favorite words: judgmental. Judgmental means being spiteful of behaviors you'd condone in yourself. Such clods would let total strangers have it for the sin of living. Unfortunately the Bible says "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Having brains of rock these oafs could never feel a thing.
P. S. HENS! HENS!!! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!!
P. S. HENS! HENS!!! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!!
New major at Indiana U. combines study of public affairs with understanding of media
Don't news hacks already know how to campaign for their causes?
And don't enough politicos know how to play news hacks?
Don't news hacks already know how to campaign for their causes?
And don't enough politicos know how to play news hacks?
The best of two worlds: Europe lends the Greeks money they'll never pay back -- and the Greeks get mad because Europe isn't lending them enough money!
OR:
In the midst of the crisis, the number of museum guards, at the Acropolis, for example, has magically increased, as have the numbers of ambulance drivers and nurses. "People are enthusiastic," says Reppas, adding: "A real consolidation is underway here."
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
OR:
In the midst of the crisis, the number of museum guards, at the Acropolis, for example, has magically increased, as have the numbers of ambulance drivers and nurses. "People are enthusiastic," says Reppas, adding: "A real consolidation is underway here."
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
It wasn't but a couple of years ago that Philthydelphia's Skool Distrikt was the best run in the country, or something, which says reform in ehdyukayshun is about keeping up appearances, easy when politicos and news hacks are solely concerned with touting things while sending their kids to private schools, or schools in the burbs.
Somebody tell the ASSPress -- the Lord God Steve will NEVER DIE!!!!!
Would His Kingdom face these PR disasters if It had any sense, other than of what would keep God happy?
(Via I Want Media)
Would His Kingdom face these PR disasters if It had any sense, other than of what would keep God happy?
(Via I Want Media)
Memo to SEC: Groupon Has No Competitive Advantage, Stop Its IPO!!!!!!!!!! (Tell-the-Feds overemphasis added)
Are you kidding? The Wall Street Casino's merely rehearsing for the really big frauds!
Are you kidding? The Wall Street Casino's merely rehearsing for the really big frauds!
Look Peter, do we expect the same Corporate Americans who put their all into flipping the bird to the people to otherwise give a damn about them, so long as they earn theirs?
We can only do so much without our superiors' assent.
We can only do so much without our superiors' assent.
Why does anybody expect the total incompetents in our social services agencies to care any more for toddlers than advertisers care for the public? With them it's always a contest to see who can almost willfully inspire the next outrage.
And on a related matter, let's come out and say it: America's fraudulent advertisers actively encourage this sort of publicity-stunt behavior. It would be better if Corporate America issued a mission statement saying that in every particular it hates our nation, and holds its values in the utmost contempt.
I still think this whole business surrounding Ben Shapiro's interviews is a non-starter, as the usual gang of idiots will close quarters if it hasn't done so already; but the more I think of it the angrier I get. It is not enough these megalomaniacs have small minds, no; they must make them so small as to evade detection by any scientific instrument.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Who does the LULZSEC mascot remind you of? We know who he reminds us of: Reginald Van Gleason III. (Though he never wore a monocle.) That's why we've laughed long and hard at the antics of this motley gang, knowing all the while they weren't the least bit funny, wrecking companies like Sony with a blithe (if slightly dense) humor about it. These twits haven't the foggiest notion if they totally destroy their enemies they won't get any more "free" entertainment. For now however, we laugh.
He...who warned, uhhhhhhhhhh, the British that they, uhhhhhhhhhh, weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uhhhhhhhhhh, by ringing those bells and, uhhhhhhhhhh, making sure as he’s riding his, uhhhhhhhhhh, horse through town to send those, uhhhhhhhhhh, warning shots and bells that we were, uhhhhhhhhhh, going to be secure and, uhhhhhhhhhh, we were going to be free and, uhhhhhhhhhh -- WE WERE GOING TO BE ARMED!!!!! [Uhhhhhhhhhhs added]
Palin’s inability to speak in clear, precise terms about questions of large importance as well as small (such as this) is a chronic problem. She is an articulate woman and many of her positions on the issues are actually quite sound. But she is unable to explain them in any depth because her body of knowledge is tissue thin. Whenever pressed by an interviewer who is not there to puff her, she stumbles and usually blunders. The fact that some of her gaffes can wind up being rationalized in some manner does not justify the pretense that she is person of substance. [Link added]
NUF SAID.
Saturday, June 04, 2011
THE LATEST FROM THE CRUSADING PERFESSER-BLOGGER!!!!!:
June 4, 2011
MARKDOWNS ON Duracell batteries.
Posted by Glenn Reynolds at 7:00 pm
Apparently the JACKASS is a paid shill for Amazon.com and other organizations and does not even bother to slug such posts ADS. This is why I do NOT believe bloggers.
I'm mad too because he's part of the PAJAMAS MEDIA clique, which got its name from pursuing Dan Blather's FONTS. Sorry Glenn, this isn't 100% ethical either. And sorry too, Glenn, that "Amazon.com affiliate" business way way down the right-hand column doesn't excuse it -- especially when you've run an unpaid ad like THIS.
(Revised 7/31/2011; it read "lastest" for "latest")
June 4, 2011
MARKDOWNS ON Duracell batteries.
Posted by Glenn Reynolds at 7:00 pm
Apparently the JACKASS is a paid shill for Amazon.com and other organizations and does not even bother to slug such posts ADS. This is why I do NOT believe bloggers.
I'm mad too because he's part of the PAJAMAS MEDIA clique, which got its name from pursuing Dan Blather's FONTS. Sorry Glenn, this isn't 100% ethical either. And sorry too, Glenn, that "Amazon.com affiliate" business way way down the right-hand column doesn't excuse it -- especially when you've run an unpaid ad like THIS.
(Revised 7/31/2011; it read "lastest" for "latest")
Lawrence Eagleburger, who along with Brent Scowcroft kissed the Chinese Communists' shoes after Tienanmen, has died. RIP.
P. S. at 3:02 p. m. And on the 22ND ANNIVERSARY. HOW APT.
P. S. at 3:02 p. m. And on the 22ND ANNIVERSARY. HOW APT.
I guess we all know the story of Yvette Vickers -- the gorgeous model who posed before a...hi-fi, who starred in a few awful B sci-fi flicks, whose "mummified" remains were found after months in her house. As this haunting dispatch tells us likely no one would have attended her funeral but for a somewhat forgotten half-brother, who brought his family. Perhaps she could have been like that annoying -- well, you know, a certain hyperactive octogenarian TV PERSONALITY -- and made an ass of herself, but instead she just faded away, and too well. The tides of life are beyond our meager abilities but we're sure she didn't deserve this. On the other hand we gather hope that the pestilences of our time will soon fade away, and one thing's clear: they never knew Cary Grant -- and they won't engender a love note in our hearts.
Sony Pictures Pays Big Bucks To Buy 'Sex Tape'
Hey Lord Stringer, maybe you'd be better off distributing it through LULZSEC.
Hey Lord Stringer, maybe you'd be better off distributing it through LULZSEC.
How often have Michigan's leaders uttered platitudes to "help" Detroit? Before they didn't want to get involved; now that NoMoTown is dying they want to help. And they haven't been feeling too well either. Help with what? Of course we hope it comes back -- if the old American spirit still obtained it could -- but it's going to take overwhelming leadership and mighty strong bootstraps.
This is going nowhere. The first two names in the hed make it a joke. Hollywood charities are never separate from that overwhelming ulterior publicity motive; too often they're an excuse to get other people to give on celebrities' behalf. If show-biz types want to give more to charity, great. We don't expect them to.
Friday, June 03, 2011
Once TV viewers could identify with the people on the screen, and believe them. James Arness had integrity enough to last in such a role for twenty years. Now the only people with such faith in TV are advertising vice-presidents, and they've driven the Arnesses clean out of the medium in favor of their heroes, the scummy SUMNERS.
We cannot say how exasperated we are to have to comb through five thousand Web sites to get three insights -- and this one came from John Dudley in, of all places, Erie, Pennsylvania:
South Carolina's Steve Spurrier weighed in Thursday, saying he is willing to fork over $294,000 of his own salary to pay players $300 per game, a proposal that will be received by the good ol' boys at NCAA headquarters like a fart in church.
On the surface, it doesn't seem so unreasonable for someone, perhaps even a rich coach like Spurrier, to feel obligated to cough up some loot for the folks who do the actual heavy lifting on Saturday afternoons.
But it doesn't make it right.
And it doesn't solve the problem.
In fact, paying college football players would open a new set of issues that no one, least of all the NCAA, is prepared to face.
Next in line would be men's basketball players, whose annual March Madness tournament is worth $10.8 billion in TV money to the NCAA and its member schools over the next 14 years.
If Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck is getting $300 per game to toss footballs 12 or 13 times a season, what's the going rate for Nolan Smith to lace it up 37 times for Duke?
Or for the backup setter on Pepperdine's men's volleyball team?
Are we proposing to pay athletes only in revenue sports?
Only men?
Because you wouldn't have to wait long for the stampede of lawyers rushing to file Title IX-based lawsuits if female student-athletes aren't compensated, too. And who could argue with them?...
Paying the athletes wouldn't be enough to satisfy the most gluttonous offenders in college sports. It would merely be an appetizer.
South Carolina's Steve Spurrier weighed in Thursday, saying he is willing to fork over $294,000 of his own salary to pay players $300 per game, a proposal that will be received by the good ol' boys at NCAA headquarters like a fart in church.
On the surface, it doesn't seem so unreasonable for someone, perhaps even a rich coach like Spurrier, to feel obligated to cough up some loot for the folks who do the actual heavy lifting on Saturday afternoons.
But it doesn't make it right.
And it doesn't solve the problem.
In fact, paying college football players would open a new set of issues that no one, least of all the NCAA, is prepared to face.
Next in line would be men's basketball players, whose annual March Madness tournament is worth $10.8 billion in TV money to the NCAA and its member schools over the next 14 years.
If Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck is getting $300 per game to toss footballs 12 or 13 times a season, what's the going rate for Nolan Smith to lace it up 37 times for Duke?
Or for the backup setter on Pepperdine's men's volleyball team?
Are we proposing to pay athletes only in revenue sports?
Only men?
Because you wouldn't have to wait long for the stampede of lawyers rushing to file Title IX-based lawsuits if female student-athletes aren't compensated, too. And who could argue with them?...
Paying the athletes wouldn't be enough to satisfy the most gluttonous offenders in college sports. It would merely be an appetizer.
We'll believe The Paper of Re-CORD when It says Its editing of a story on Its new PRINCESS was above board -- but we'll also believe NRO when it says the new PRINCESS and Her charges think of Their Paper as a RELIGION.
MTV Movie Awards to promo more movies
Hey guys! With "Adidas, Chevrolet, Snickers, Sprint, Starbucks, State Farm, Taco Bell, Twix", ESPNCORP, PEOPLE WARNER, SUMNER PICTURES and TROUGH -- pardon, SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT the whole show's a promo!
The network and its advertisers, though, are hoping for better ratings than last year, when the awards show was down 13% in total viewers on MTV and 2% after additional airings on VH1 and MTV2 were factored in.
Why should they worry? If the show drew no audience the sponsors would double their spending!
Increased activity from Disney, which is plugging three movies through paid ads and talent appearances, and Warner, which is promoting four, mean this year's awards and red carpet involve more studios and more films than in the past, according to Jeannie Scalzo, MTV's senior vice president of integrated marketing.
"We have never-before-seen clips for some films, and can take advantage of talent walking the red carpet that's done for the most part separate from any ad sales deal," Ms. Scalzo said. "Studios know that this particular platform will drive interest and make these kids go and watch that opening release on opening weekend." (Integrated emphasis added)
All this PR talk and already it's funnier than a press release!
"The MTV audience has given the Twilight films so many nominations, and so much support, what better place to share with them the first trailer for the first part in the franchise's final chapter," said Nancy Kirkpatrick, Summit's president of worldwide marketing.
Indeed, what better place than SUMNER's Church, where advertisers get on their hands and knees to prey -- PRAY!
Though Paramount will plug Transformers 3 and Super 8 this year, Steve Siskind, Paramount's executive vice president of worldwide marketing and advertising, insists there's no corporate synergy afoot.
"They're really under church and state," Mr. Siskind told Ad Age.
Why worry when SUMNER'S CHURCH AND STATE!
PLATINUM-PLATED MORONS.
Sure to be a treat for the over-active imagination....
Like all those ad-vice-president martinets' beseeching God (aka SUMNER) He grant their prayer of at least THREE F-BOMBS!!!!!
Hey SUMNER! Why isn't CLEARWIRE a sponsor?
Hey guys! With "Adidas, Chevrolet, Snickers, Sprint, Starbucks, State Farm, Taco Bell, Twix", ESPNCORP, PEOPLE WARNER, SUMNER PICTURES and TROUGH -- pardon, SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT the whole show's a promo!
The network and its advertisers, though, are hoping for better ratings than last year, when the awards show was down 13% in total viewers on MTV and 2% after additional airings on VH1 and MTV2 were factored in.
Why should they worry? If the show drew no audience the sponsors would double their spending!
Increased activity from Disney, which is plugging three movies through paid ads and talent appearances, and Warner, which is promoting four, mean this year's awards and red carpet involve more studios and more films than in the past, according to Jeannie Scalzo, MTV's senior vice president of integrated marketing.
"We have never-before-seen clips for some films, and can take advantage of talent walking the red carpet that's done for the most part separate from any ad sales deal," Ms. Scalzo said. "Studios know that this particular platform will drive interest and make these kids go and watch that opening release on opening weekend." (Integrated emphasis added)
All this PR talk and already it's funnier than a press release!
"The MTV audience has given the Twilight films so many nominations, and so much support, what better place to share with them the first trailer for the first part in the franchise's final chapter," said Nancy Kirkpatrick, Summit's president of worldwide marketing.
Indeed, what better place than SUMNER's Church, where advertisers get on their hands and knees to prey -- PRAY!
Though Paramount will plug Transformers 3 and Super 8 this year, Steve Siskind, Paramount's executive vice president of worldwide marketing and advertising, insists there's no corporate synergy afoot.
"They're really under church and state," Mr. Siskind told Ad Age.
Why worry when SUMNER'S CHURCH AND STATE!
PLATINUM-PLATED MORONS.
Sure to be a treat for the over-active imagination....
Like all those ad-vice-president martinets' beseeching God (aka SUMNER) He grant their prayer of at least THREE F-BOMBS!!!!!
Hey SUMNER! Why isn't CLEARWIRE a sponsor?
Seeing how many thousands of Clear stores have popped up in my neighborhood...
Clearwire Corp. (CLWR) distributors lowered credit standards to attract thousands of new customers and inflate subscriber numbers starting in 2009, according to three former dealers.
Clearwire employees told distributors to sign up customers with credit scores below the company’s standard or bypass credit checks altogether, according to dealers including Joe Cruz and AK Kurji. Though the practice pulled in new customers, many soon left Clearwire, often without paying a bill, they said.
...why am I not surprised?
Clearwire Corp. (CLWR) distributors lowered credit standards to attract thousands of new customers and inflate subscriber numbers starting in 2009, according to three former dealers.
Clearwire employees told distributors to sign up customers with credit scores below the company’s standard or bypass credit checks altogether, according to dealers including Joe Cruz and AK Kurji. Though the practice pulled in new customers, many soon left Clearwire, often without paying a bill, they said.
...why am I not surprised?
We don't usually get our political news from THR, but....
The Hollywood favorite, who was supported by Ashton Kutcher and Aaron Sorkin....
GUILTY!
The Hollywood favorite, who was supported by Ashton Kutcher and Aaron Sorkin....
GUILTY!
"The earth belongs to the living, not to the dead."
It behooves us to rear more children in stable, married households, lest America soon belong to the dead.
It behooves us to rear more children in stable, married households, lest America soon belong to the dead.
RrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGIETHEATAH comes to Sheridan, meaning it can't be performed any other way again, but that's okay as theatah in general and ancient theatah in particular have become irrelevant to the masses to the point of invisibility.
Never mind that this is one of the greatest plays of all time. It's gotta be HIP!!!!!
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, which would approve)
Never mind that this is one of the greatest plays of all time. It's gotta be HIP!!!!!
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, which would approve)
The end of AIDS?
When a newsrag says this we have reason to doubt. Remember how the TWXSTERS and Dr. David Ho cured the disease.
When a newsrag says this we have reason to doubt. Remember how the TWXSTERS and Dr. David Ho cured the disease.
If "Limousine Michael" Moore "reformed" the way David "F-Word" Mamet has it would be the same thing. It's posturing without the smell. To us it's just our kind of PC intellectual, and we're not impressed.
Dr. Death has died. Does that mean he gets experimented on now?
(Initially via MESS breaking-news squib; link at 8:43 a. m.)
(Initially via MESS breaking-news squib; link at 8:43 a. m.)
Thursday, June 02, 2011
At a SLIME-sponsored schmoozefest:
Iger said that 3-D technology must be used in the right way or studios risk annoying moviegoers who are asked to pay a few dollars more for tickets.
What's more important to YOU, Ub: annoying moviegoers or a few dollars more?
Iger said that 3-D technology must be used in the right way or studios risk annoying moviegoers who are asked to pay a few dollars more for tickets.
What's more important to YOU, Ub: annoying moviegoers or a few dollars more?
The Paper of Re-CORD has appointed a new PRINCESS to serve under KING PINCH, and...
Collins on Abramson’s appointment: ‘Maybe we’ve reached the ultimate goal of the women’s movement’
Now we're 1,000-PERCENT SURE Romy never heard of Jim Tressel.
Collins on Abramson’s appointment: ‘Maybe we’ve reached the ultimate goal of the women’s movement’
Now we're 1,000-PERCENT SURE Romy never heard of Jim Tressel.
Here's the thing: If we elect Republicans the financial villains go free.
If we elect Democrats our banks get regulated to within an inch of their lives -- and still the villains go free.
You pays your money and you takes your choice.
(Via Marketwatch)
If we elect Democrats our banks get regulated to within an inch of their lives -- and still the villains go free.
You pays your money and you takes your choice.
(Via Marketwatch)
Hey! Why not a golf course in space? With floating tees and rocket-propelled carts and....Of course with zero gravity the balls would never land anywhere -- in fact they'd be instant space junk -- but gee, wouldn't that be part of the fun?
And why not equip the balls with tiny transmitters so the golfers could engage in permanent distance contests?
Ex-WP ombud on threats to OSU journalists: “My first reaction was, ‘This isn’t new’”
It's official: Romy never heard of Jim Tressel before.
It's official: Romy never heard of Jim Tressel before.
ASININE: LEGENDARY SCORSESE's now planning a Liz-'n'-Dick film.
Who's going to play them?
He has also spent years working on a biopic of Dean Martin that has yet to see the light of day.
Ditto, we hope.
And of course the Big G doesn't mention its source.
Who's going to play them?
He has also spent years working on a biopic of Dean Martin that has yet to see the light of day.
Ditto, we hope.
And of course the Big G doesn't mention its source.
More schools rethinking zero-tolerance discipline stand
TRANSLATION: The lurning establishmeant is confronting its total lack of judgment and sense.
TRANSLATION: The lurning establishmeant is confronting its total lack of judgment and sense.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Who are we to argue with GENIUS when It says no record album's worth more than 99 cents -- especially when it didn't come out of the GENIUS's pocket?
(Via Billboard.biz, which had an unexplainable bad link despite using the identical URL)
(Via Billboard.biz, which had an unexplainable bad link despite using the identical URL)
Chris's (um, uh, err) helicopter gag doesn't surprise us; he has almost as huge an ego as that other flying fiend HONORARY MAYOR MIKE and simply wanted to show off. Ultimately big egos foretell their possessors' doom: we saw it in Wisconsin where SCOTT!!!!! put the shovel to the ground under his feet, and SARAH!!!!! is poison because she KNOWS she's something special. Likewise the Weiner's richly-deserved troubles stem from a super-sized faith in himself. With egos come a lack of remorse compounded by a lack of sense. If we're not going to get humility from our elected slobs their inferiors must teach it to them.
P. S. The Journals say it cost "nothing". Did the cost just vanish into thin -- air?
P. S. The Journals say it cost "nothing". Did the cost just vanish into thin -- air?
Ohio State student journalists get threats over Tressel coverage
If we know Romy someone had to tell him who Jim Tressel is.
If we know Romy someone had to tell him who Jim Tressel is.
Moody's cuts Greece rating; outlook negative
Shutting the stable door....
And the Greeks will be cleaning out that stable for some time.
Shutting the stable door....
And the Greeks will be cleaning out that stable for some time.
News Corp. to Decide on MySpace in 2 Weeks
Prediction: No one will buy it, so SLIME closes it -- or it goes the TV Guide route. (Remember that golden oldie, SLIME?)
Prediction: No one will buy it, so SLIME closes it -- or it goes the TV Guide route. (Remember that golden oldie, SLIME?)
Help Wanted: Obama Campaign Starts Beefing Up Digital Team
If we know the parasi -- AD BIZ, He should get lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of help!
If we know the parasi -- AD BIZ, He should get lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of help!
Never buy stocks again? Seriously?
The way the Wall Street Casino is today you may have to be serious.
Yes, many investors are distrustful of Corporate America in general and Wall Street especially.
"The scarring is very deep and long lasting," said Liz Ann Sonders, chief investment strategist with Charles Schwab & Co in New York. "There's a view that the market is rigged and last year's Flash Crash did not help alleviate those concerns."
That's the American Way! Folks who mock it are UNAMERICAN!!
The way the Wall Street Casino is today you may have to be serious.
Yes, many investors are distrustful of Corporate America in general and Wall Street especially.
"The scarring is very deep and long lasting," said Liz Ann Sonders, chief investment strategist with Charles Schwab & Co in New York. "There's a view that the market is rigged and last year's Flash Crash did not help alleviate those concerns."
That's the American Way! Folks who mock it are UNAMERICAN!!
Good news for those of us who now have an incentive to pirate show-biz' offerings:
With so many entertainment options available now, consumers are finding less value from entertainment products and an overwhelming majority are displeased with the industry’s [SIC] move to charge for services provided over the Internet, according to a survey by public relations company Edelman.
In its 2011 survey, Los Angeles- and London-based Edelman found that the value consumers are getting from the entertainment industry has fallen by 68 percent in all areas. Only 17 percent of all respondents feel that entertainment sources today provide "very good" or "excellent" value.
We don't know where that 68 percent number comes from -- 68 percent of zero is still zero -- but yep, anything that's no good free has no value, and the only people who'd say it has value of the people who produce the junk, or the industry's publicists.
(Via I Want Media)
With so many entertainment options available now, consumers are finding less value from entertainment products and an overwhelming majority are displeased with the industry’s [SIC] move to charge for services provided over the Internet, according to a survey by public relations company Edelman.
In its 2011 survey, Los Angeles- and London-based Edelman found that the value consumers are getting from the entertainment industry has fallen by 68 percent in all areas. Only 17 percent of all respondents feel that entertainment sources today provide "very good" or "excellent" value.
We don't know where that 68 percent number comes from -- 68 percent of zero is still zero -- but yep, anything that's no good free has no value, and the only people who'd say it has value of the people who produce the junk, or the industry's publicists.
(Via I Want Media)
Three and a half years after becoming a national public figure, the liberal media [SIC!!!!!] still haven't learned how to treat Sarah Palin as a rational human being with a different set of values from their own.
Politics aside, the nice thing about writing for EM is that you don't have to know how -- and though we've made our mistakes too, we think we know better.
Politics aside, the nice thing about writing for EM is that you don't have to know how -- and though we've made our mistakes too, we think we know better.
THE WORLD'S LEADING NEWS WEB SITE pulls a daily double! First, it would take a very shallow person to CARE about Justin, and a complete idiot to send death threats. Be of good cheer, twits; you'll find a new heartthrob in two weeks -- then you can send him death threats. Second, one wants to show some compassion and feel sad for PARIS, but to us she more than made up for all the anguish by being inescapable for a decade. That she "confessed" her woe to THE NEW LARRY KING does not exactly help.
Private sector job growth slumps in May
ISM's gauge of U.S. manufacturing suffers steepest 1-month decline since 1984
I don't care what anyone says -- even Robert J. Samuelson, who is reliable and at least well meaning: what started in September 2008 has not stopped.
ISM's gauge of U.S. manufacturing suffers steepest 1-month decline since 1984
I don't care what anyone says -- even Robert J. Samuelson, who is reliable and at least well meaning: what started in September 2008 has not stopped.
TV Executives Admit in Taped Interviews That Hollywood Pushes a Liberal Agenda
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dog bites man.
But it will be a little harder to argue this as it does NOT come from Human Events.
I might further add, this is a case FOR piracy.
Needless to say, except for THR which made this mistake, there will be a total news blackout.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dog bites man.
But it will be a little harder to argue this as it does NOT come from Human Events.
I might further add, this is a case FOR piracy.
Needless to say, except for THR which made this mistake, there will be a total news blackout.
USAOKAY!!!!!, America's Leading Public Relations Outlet, auditions a new member for the Gang of 27! It seems they let him boast that PEOPLE WARNER's DC COMICS division (not the movie studio) will renumber all its comics' volume numbers -- starting with number one! Now we all know why: Mr. BEWKES figures No. 900 suggests METHUSELAH. But BRIAN, trying mightily hard for that spot in the Gang of 27, runs TWO STORIES to make sure we get His spin...word!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THEWEEK MONTH! AWARD TO BRIAN -- AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR MAKING THE NATION'S ALL-STAR PR TEAM!
P. S. at 5:45 p. m. We saw the print edition and OKAY!!!!! sold it BIG-TIME on the front page!
P. P. S. on 6/2/2011 at 11:18 a.m. The Bible says Methuselah lived to be 969! We don't want any comics older than Methuselah!
(Story via LALA)
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE
P. S. at 5:45 p. m. We saw the print edition and OKAY!!!!! sold it BIG-TIME on the front page!
P. P. S. on 6/2/2011 at 11:18 a.m. The Bible says Methuselah lived to be 969! We don't want any comics older than Methuselah!
(Story via LALA)
Q: What's next for ousted coach Jim Tressel?
A: Can you say politics? A columnist for The Vindicator in Youngstown, Ohio, seems to think Tressel, who resigned under an ethics cloud, would be a good choice to challenge Democratic incumbent Sherrod Brown.
Seems to think?
Hey Jim! You can borrow his ferret!
A: Can you say politics? A columnist for The Vindicator in Youngstown, Ohio, seems to think Tressel, who resigned under an ethics cloud, would be a good choice to challenge Democratic incumbent Sherrod Brown.
Seems to think?
Hey Jim! You can borrow his ferret!