THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Thursday, July 07, 2011
“They have such significant global reach across all media properties. Why would they risk that global clout and reputation on this?”
Because NO ONE messes with RUPERT.
Because NO ONE messes with RUPERT.
"Where is the money coming from?" he asked. If consumers are starting to take on more debt again by charging items to their credit card, Donnelly does not expect that trend will be sustainable. "There's no obvious source of funds."
Maybe it's coming from THE GREAT GOD BEN who ordered the Wall Street Casino to let Its cash trickle down! Pffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
Maybe it's coming from THE GREAT GOD BEN who ordered the Wall Street Casino to let Its cash trickle down! Pffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
The bad news: as we moaned and groaned earlier, recorded...SOUND sales are up, BUT:
It's unclear if the increase in unit sales translated to a bump in dollar sales, which SoundScan does not track. [*] Lady Gaga, for example, has sold 1.5 million copies of "Born This Way," but some of those were purchased for 99 cents from an Amazon.com promotion. The album normally sells for $7.99 for a digital download or $15.99 for a physical CD.
Better news:
Catalog album sales showed a 7% hike, which offset a 4% drop in sales of current albums.
Best news: The movee excretion biz had its worst first-half domestic attendance in fifteen years. THE SLUMP IS OVER!!!!!
P. S.
Lastly, not that I want to make any further sweeping statements about the state of the music industry, but I will point out that “E.T.” by Katy Perry tops the chart for the best selling digital song for the first six months of 2011, with 4.1 million downloads. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions from this fact.
I think I know what it means.
*Which didn't prevent USAOKAY.COM!!!!! from home-page blurbing:
Or rather:
MUSIC SALES SKYROCKET THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Skyrocketing overemphasis added]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO USAOKAY.COM!!!!!
(I was forced into a screenshot as the line doesn't show up on Google News.)
It's unclear if the increase in unit sales translated to a bump in dollar sales, which SoundScan does not track. [*] Lady Gaga, for example, has sold 1.5 million copies of "Born This Way," but some of those were purchased for 99 cents from an Amazon.com promotion. The album normally sells for $7.99 for a digital download or $15.99 for a physical CD.
Better news:
Catalog album sales showed a 7% hike, which offset a 4% drop in sales of current albums.
Best news: The movee excretion biz had its worst first-half domestic attendance in fifteen years. THE SLUMP IS OVER!!!!!
P. S.
Lastly, not that I want to make any further sweeping statements about the state of the music industry, but I will point out that “E.T.” by Katy Perry tops the chart for the best selling digital song for the first six months of 2011, with 4.1 million downloads. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions from this fact.
I think I know what it means.
*Which didn't prevent USAOKAY.COM!!!!! from home-page blurbing:
Or rather:
MUSIC SALES SKYROCKET THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Skyrocketing overemphasis added]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO USAOKAY.COM!!!!!
(I was forced into a screenshot as the line doesn't show up on Google News.)
This CRAINIAC Simon had to make the SLIME story knee-jerk political, meaning it isn't long before every knee-jerk news hack screams HOMOPHOBE, and every knee-jerk con-SER-va-tive pundit defends SLIME the way they've defended CONNIE....
A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
The market's rally since September 2010 can be traced directly to the Fed intervention, more of which will be a hard sell politically and a risk to inflationary pressures.
"They're not in the driver's seat," Achuthan said. "They're lucky if they're in the passenger seat. They're probably in the back seat...."
How about the trunk?
"They're not in the driver's seat," Achuthan said. "They're lucky if they're in the passenger seat. They're probably in the back seat...."
How about the trunk?
Awwwww SHUCKS, The Sex Life of Julian Assange has been...postponed.
Maybe he couldn't get help from LULZSEC.
Maybe he couldn't get help from LULZSEC.
News Corp to Close News of the World Amid Scandal
TRANSLATION: SLIME is NOT conceding defeat.
The News of the World was Rupert Murdoch's first UK newspaper acquisition in 1968 and its profits helped him build his publishing and broadcasting empire in this country and the US.
How apt that He turns on His "firstborn" to save His hide.
TRANSLATION: SLIME is NOT conceding defeat.
The News of the World was Rupert Murdoch's first UK newspaper acquisition in 1968 and its profits helped him build his publishing and broadcasting empire in this country and the US.
How apt that He turns on His "firstborn" to save His hide.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
THE ORIGINAL TV NEWSER!!!!! reports that ELIOT SPITZER's lost his gig!
Maybe if he hooked up with prostitutes again....
(Via Taegan Goddard's Political Wire via TNR)
Maybe if he hooked up with prostitutes again....
(Via Taegan Goddard's Political Wire via TNR)
I want to see someone explain the connection between these stories:
Samsung Grabs Over 60% of 3D TV Set Market
'My Cat From Hell' Renewed By Animal Planet
Samsung Grabs Over 60% of 3D TV Set Market
'My Cat From Hell' Renewed By Animal Planet
THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE: Dubya's EVERY CHILD A DILBERT ACT has encouraged criminal behavior, which seems to have been the motivator all along, de facto and de jure.
WHAT is the point of this charade? No intelligent questions can ever break through when thousands of submitted, but asking questions is not the point: the point is to re-elect His Incompetence with a computerized photo-op -- and sell that IPO.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
The "LEGENDARY" godmother of all rock mu-SIC cri-TICS has died, and...
[she] was asked in a recent interview if there was anyone she wished she hadn't met. "Yes. The Beastie Boys," she said. "Arrogant, self-important and smirking, over-using the “f” [SIC] word in a telephone interview after their opening set for Madonna."
1. But what did they do? and 2. The only ones?
[she] was asked in a recent interview if there was anyone she wished she hadn't met. "Yes. The Beastie Boys," she said. "Arrogant, self-important and smirking, over-using the “f” [SIC] word in a telephone interview after their opening set for Madonna."
1. But what did they do? and 2. The only ones?
I'm supposed to care. I must not be the only one who regarded THE MURDER TRIAL OF THE CENTURY (well, it is the 21st) as background noise at best -- albeit the noise of an inescapable air force of gnats. The only reason this became an unhealthy national obsession is that cable, that full-figured anorexic of content, grabbed this gnawed-up bone by its suction-cup gums. Those who mention OJ forget that involved two people hideously murdered, a supercelebrity, a low-speed chase, a pretentiously incompetent judge, a father of his own future supercelebrities and the hacks' favorite way of dividing people by harping on race. This involved an ordinary person in a media profit center that wouldn't stop kachinging. More important things happened the nonce, on which the cable hacks wasted none of their time in order to waste ours.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Sunday, July 03, 2011
iPods: Who Gets the Money and Who Gets the Jobs?
Let me guess: STEVEDOM and Its faithful tithe contributors -- shareholders get the former; CHINA gets the latter. Right?
As Tim seems to be a GLIBERTARIAN we can guess he doesn't mind.
[T]hat point about high wage manufacturing jobs. There aren’t any, for manufacturing is now a low wage occupation, so it’s pointless to talk about trying to bring them back to the United States.
TRANSLATION: Let them eat iPods!
Besides, don't WE have the JOBS?
Let me guess: STEVEDOM and Its faithful tithe contributors -- shareholders get the former; CHINA gets the latter. Right?
As Tim seems to be a GLIBERTARIAN we can guess he doesn't mind.
[T]hat point about high wage manufacturing jobs. There aren’t any, for manufacturing is now a low wage occupation, so it’s pointless to talk about trying to bring them back to the United States.
TRANSLATION: Let them eat iPods!
Besides, don't WE have the JOBS?
Saturday, July 02, 2011
And speaking of NRO -- and tantrums:
THE WAR ON DRUGS HAS WEAKENED LIBERTY, STRENGTHENED BIG GOVERNMENT, ENRICHED CRIMINALS AND DAMAGED AMERICA'S SECURITY!! IT HAS TURNED WHAT SHOULD BE A MATTER FOR INDIVIDUAL ADULT DECISION INTO A NATIONAL DISASTER!!! AND IT HAS BEEN DOING SO FOR DECADES!!!! IT'S LONG PAST TIME IT CAME TO AN END!!!!! [Less-than-adult overemphasis added]
Like in the Netherlands!
By the way, was our favorite crook Connie Black persecuted for...dealing in drugs? We didn't think so. How do you explain his enrichment?
THE WAR ON DRUGS HAS WEAKENED LIBERTY, STRENGTHENED BIG GOVERNMENT, ENRICHED CRIMINALS AND DAMAGED AMERICA'S SECURITY!! IT HAS TURNED WHAT SHOULD BE A MATTER FOR INDIVIDUAL ADULT DECISION INTO A NATIONAL DISASTER!!! AND IT HAS BEEN DOING SO FOR DECADES!!!! IT'S LONG PAST TIME IT CAME TO AN END!!!!! [Less-than-adult overemphasis added]
Like in the Netherlands!
By the way, was our favorite crook Connie Black persecuted for...dealing in drugs? We didn't think so. How do you explain his enrichment?
“IT'S CLASS WARFARE, AND IT'S THE KIND OF LANGUAGE YOU WOULD EXPECT FROM THE LEADER OF A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY, NOT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!!!!!!” said Rubio. [Warlike overemphasis added]
Okay Rube, we'll grant this was another of His Incompetence's cheap, insincere, thoroughly tacky stunts. But what is with this undying love affair between you Republicans and the HYPERRICH?
And what sort of a knee-jerk hard-core third-world leftist is MITCH PEARLSTEIN?
Okay Rube, we'll grant this was another of His Incompetence's cheap, insincere, thoroughly tacky stunts. But what is with this undying love affair between you Republicans and the HYPERRICH?
And what sort of a knee-jerk hard-core third-world leftist is MITCH PEARLSTEIN?
What's the point in trying to sell women's sports as something they aren't? We're not against the fairer sex competing athletically but they'll never be popular; most women don't like sports and most men want beauties. Every women's professional sports league has played to indifference, or worse. It behooves those who tout women's sports as societal breakthroughs to hold the hype.
Earlier this week The Econowiz made a small noise by saying the era of manned space flight was over. It was a contest launched with Sputnik between two nations, and once America won the contest in several ways so ended the need for showing off in orbit. The only rationale for manned space flight is to colonize other planets; despite her manifold flaws (too little land mass for one) our terra firma should do us fine for a while. With no need for us to colonize planets there is no need to spend zillions on what have become high-tech hi-mom moments. That His Incompetence pretty well announced the end in his inimitable downer way gives it a sour note as we know all too well he deems such things as space flight unworthy of us, and besides it's more money for His toys. That said we should continue to explore space with unmanned missions. They illumine the path for the future, though that future will most likely be for synthetic and worthless creatures tied to homo sapiens in name only. The desire to send ourselves to other planets can wait; so can the eventual need to turn the human race into something else.
This is exasperating. Is this Hahvahd Mutual Fund's way of mocking Republicans for being patriotic -- or is this another excuse for Democrats to be less than patriotic?
Keeping THE MASTER's line in mind we must ask, how did something like Independence Day become political?
Keeping THE MASTER's line in mind we must ask, how did something like Independence Day become political?
Murguia, a University of Kansas law school graduate, was appointed to the federal bench in 1999 by President Bill Clinton, an abortion rights Democrat. [Conveniently last graf]
Again, let's cut the comedy; "justice" is about politics. Let's elect ALL our judges -- PERIOD.
Again, let's cut the comedy; "justice" is about politics. Let's elect ALL our judges -- PERIOD.
Surprise: Vegas is swarming with Vegrants -- er, "street performers". If Kitty Bean had been on call USAOKAY!!!!! wouldn't have run this; isn't the Veg HIP and HOT now? It's also in a depression. Given the clientele as documented here they're a perfect fit.
Friday, July 01, 2011
Chavez's cancer revelation rattles Venezuela
Rattles? If I were a thoughtful Venezuelan I'd be rubbing my hands with glee -- remembering, of course, that Fidel still lives.
Rattles? If I were a thoughtful Venezuelan I'd be rubbing my hands with glee -- remembering, of course, that Fidel still lives.
Speaking of speculative, from a likely CON-SER-VA-TIVE:
New York soon will no longer be the financial capital of the world thanks to a hostile government that has served up a menu of punitive regulations aimed at driving big banks out of the country, says analyst Dick Bove [SIC].
In his latest broadside against the post-crisis regulatory environment, Bove asserts that a recent spate of layoffs, particularly by Goldman Sachs, is just the latest sign that large financial institutions will have to take their operations overseas.
The result, he says, will not be good both for New York and the nation.
The SECOND LINK when Googling his name:
Dick Bové Not “Full Of Hot Air,” Not Paid Off By Goldman Sachs, Says Dick Bové
New York soon will no longer be the financial capital of the world thanks to a hostile government that has served up a menu of punitive regulations aimed at driving big banks out of the country, says analyst Dick Bove [SIC].
In his latest broadside against the post-crisis regulatory environment, Bove asserts that a recent spate of layoffs, particularly by Goldman Sachs, is just the latest sign that large financial institutions will have to take their operations overseas.
The result, he says, will not be good both for New York and the nation.
The SECOND LINK when Googling his name:
Dick Bové Not “Full Of Hot Air,” Not Paid Off By Goldman Sachs, Says Dick Bové
WHY THE DOW WILL PLUNGE TO 7,000!!!!!!!!!! [Plunging overemphasis added]
I HATE such speculative buncombe; Doug has no more idea where stocks will go than anyone else. He can only base it on a gut feeling, the feeling that BEN and His cronies have rigged the markets for the benefit of the extremely select few, and that stocks are going higher on fairy tales. But a gut feeling is not empirical evidence, and the only empirical evidence we have is that the markets are now moving sharply higher -- albeit for no known reasons other than the perpetrators' net worth. This is as bad as any sales pitch on the BIG C, from the other side.
And the markets are not going down until (or unless) such bubbles are deflated. My speculative prediction based on LinkedIn: $40 BILLION MARKET CAP THE FIRST DAY. MORONS!
I HATE such speculative buncombe; Doug has no more idea where stocks will go than anyone else. He can only base it on a gut feeling, the feeling that BEN and His cronies have rigged the markets for the benefit of the extremely select few, and that stocks are going higher on fairy tales. But a gut feeling is not empirical evidence, and the only empirical evidence we have is that the markets are now moving sharply higher -- albeit for no known reasons other than the perpetrators' net worth. This is as bad as any sales pitch on the BIG C, from the other side.
And the markets are not going down until (or unless) such bubbles are deflated. My speculative prediction based on LinkedIn: $40 BILLION MARKET CAP THE FIRST DAY. MORONS!
Alas we must face the galling realization the conspiracy to make our culture into Fukushima is a global one. Though poor domestic B.O. performance often dictates world receipts (but not always) we should not ignore HUGE!!!! foreign grosses, though our product is practically the only one available to locals, and it exists in a movee biz a fraction of its former self. Oh for that renaissance of the fifties when Europe exported its best to the U.S., which was too often better than ours! We suspect petty kings like PHEEEELEEEEEPE DOUGHMAHHHHHHN would gladly boast, "VEEE arrre an eenternationalll cohmpannie!" To which we say, if he wants to commit treason overseas, that's fine with us -- but why does treason have to be nominally headquartered here?
Why couldn't PHEEEELEEEEEPE have traded places with DSK? There's a man we'd love to see put through the wringer of a criminal charge.
Why couldn't PHEEEELEEEEEPE have traded places with DSK? There's a man we'd love to see put through the wringer of a criminal charge.
Greece’s austerity plan looks doomed to fail. It does too little to prevent the epic folly of Greece’s railways and other ruinous schemes. It will screw down too hard on ordinary Greeks, with new taxes, spending cuts and a rushed privatisation scheme. And it will almost certainly condemn Greece to recession, strife and an eventual debt default.
DOW 900 GIGAMEGAHEXA...oh, never mind.
DOW 900 GIGAMEGAHEXA...oh, never mind.
The world is apparently coming to the revolting conclusion that DSK may have been framed. He is not a nice guy, but neither perhaps were his accusers, and those of us who railed against him will have to eat crow.