Posted 2:15 PM by Gene

There appears in The Observer an article saying that archeologists have discovered the Roman gladiators were the "rock stars" of their day. Nice work if you could get it -- and keep it. Of course it didn't help that you were stuck with the job.

Speaking of gladiators, given the state of TV I have wondered whether someone would revive the ancient Roman games, complete with lions and death. Let's go down the list of possibles:

Rupert: Yep

Sumner "The Brow": Yep

Twilight Zon: Yep

Mickey Mouse Michael: No -- it wouldn't look good for The World's Leading Producer of Family Entertainment -- but he'd pass a memo on to Harvey Weinstein, and then when some rare news hack asked why Disney was producing the games, he'd say, "That's Miramax."

King Richard: No, but he'd pass a memo on to the guys at HBO, who'd produce the games for pay-per-view.

Barry: Yep, although first he'd clear marketing deals with his HSN® and Ticketmaster®.

Little Jeffrey: Yep, but first he'd make sure he'd cheat the contestants out of their insurance.

Sony: Are you kidding? It would be their biggest selling title in PlayStation®2.

Certainly they wouldn't lack for sponsors: DaimlerChrysler, Anheuser Busch, Cadbury Schweppes, PepsiCo, the movie studios, Yum! -- those are the leading targets, as they have official policies forswearing standards in advertising. But any company that advertises on MTV could be there. Which I guess means practically the entire American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers.

P. S. I am not joking.