Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

I'd have much prefered it if this paper had given a ghost an op-ed chance for LOWSY MAYS to rebut his critics. But here goes:

1. Before deregulation more than half of the nation's radio stations lost money, Mays said. Deregulation has led to healthier stations and more radio formats and choices for listeners, he said.

Stations are "making money" now because if they're CHEAP CHANNELS they're tied in to legions of sales reps who push the hot buttons of the ad-vice-president Robin Hoods of their huge corporate clients -- more market research, which means more focus groups, which means more demographics, which means more targeting, which means more money. And besides, lots of stations are healthier simply because they're owned by YOU, or the ZON. Firing your news departments and having one announcer work a hundred radio stations does seem to help.

2. "You have to be able to manufacture the products and sell the audience to the advertisers."

LOWSY, you're the JACK!!!!! of radio. Such tone-deaf talk! It's precisely because you're MANUFACTURING a PRODUCT that people can't stand your guts.

3. "How successful do you think I'd be if I chose the music for Sydney, Australia, from this desk? Or the content for a billboard in Hong Kong?" Mays said. "It's kind of a farce because it's physically not possible."

That's why you have ORGANIZATION MEN -- LOTS of ORGANIZATION MEN who'd jump off a cliff to sell your damfool air time (and who should in any case). They're not stupid, LOWSY. To borrow a phrase from the news hacks, it's MY WAY -- OR THE HIGHWAY. (As if their commissions would tell them otherwise.)

LOWSY does say he's sorry about the Dixie Chicks and those troop rallies, which hints in addition to being the JACK!!!!! of radio, he's its URIAH HEEP, an obsequious ass who'll blather anything to cater to the PC sensibilities of many of his biggest customers.

Thanks again, NEWT and JACK "THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR" FIELDS and GENERAL JR., for making LOWSY MAYS one of the LEADING MANUFACTURERS OF AMERICA!