Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Thursday, October 09, 2003

    Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

    THE PAUL "NUMBERS ARE FUN" KRUGMAN STATISTIC OF THE WEEK:

    If you bought $10,000 worth of General Electric stock on the day Jack Welch became chairman and CEO back in 1981, that same investment would be worth over $750 million today. (Emphasis added.)

    LIT-TLE JEFFREY!! LOOK BEHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND YOUUUUU!!!!

    (Using my handy-dandy super-duper Calculator function I can ascertain that GE Bancorp's market cap in 1981 was $4,040,000.00 [assuming no reinvested dividends]. [On the other hand, if LEGENDARY WELCH bought the stock in '81, it probably was worth over $750 million.] Here is Exhibit #1 in the case of the news biz' penchant for statistical nonsense.)

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