Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, December 14, 2003

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

The Posties give front-page "GRAVITAS" to President DAMN!, who responds by saying we should make nice to the French and make nice to the Palestinians and make nice to the North Koreans (in addition to letting the League of Nations run everything and hurrying our troops out of Iraq -- which we may be able to do now, no thanks to you and your friends).

DAMN! DAMN! HE'S OUR MAN!
IF HE CAN'T DO IT...

P. S. He's also advised by a FORMER natonal security adviser, two RETIRED generals and two FORMER assistant defense secretaries so he won't look ENTIRELY like an appeasing wimp.

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