THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1. C.G.I. Tolkien's imitation-Ring-Cycle adolescent fantasy;
2. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s financially glubglubbing nautical adventure;
3. The better Gone with the Wind with sex, gore, no blacks, and rave reviews from idiots like David "I WAS A SLAVE TO PORN" Denby;
4. Clint's little artsy-craftsy; and
5. The horsey story without Liz and Mick.
I will announce THE WINNER OF THE COVETED ACADEMY AWARD® on the day of the NOMINATIONS. Good luck to bad films!