Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

Ooooh, SCIENTISTS! Let's all bow at the feet of SCIENCE! "INDEPENDENT" SCIENTISTS think BUSH is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. INDEPENDENT LIBERAL SCIENTISTS who include the laureates of the awards whose recipients have included such distinguished humanitarians as Jimmy Carter and Henry Kissinger and YASSIR ARAFAT think our PRESIDENT is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. LET US ALL BOW AT THE FEET OF SCIENCE! SIEG HEIL!

OR:

COMPARING PRESIDENT BUSH WITH HIS FATHER, GEORGE H.W. BUSH AND FORMER PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON, THE STATEMENT WARNED THAT HAD THESE FORMER PRESIDENTS SIMILARLY DISMISSED SCIENCE IN FAVOR OF POLITICAL ENDS, OVER 200,000 DEATHS AND MILLIONS OF RESPIRATORY AND CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE CASES WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED WITH THE SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL CLEAN AIR ACT AND THE 1990 AMENDMENTS TO THAT ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

POLITICAL? Nah.

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