Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, February 12, 2004

    Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

    Why so much in magazines is idle typing:

    In its March issue, already on newsstands, [a Rodale Press rag that shall remain anonymous here] publishes its annual list of "The 25 Toughest Guys in America" -- and [Sen. Rodham] weighs in at No. 25, just behind human crash test dummy Rusty Haight, who has been in 740 car wrecks.

    And of course today the hacks are also wasting our time with the "NEWS" that Barbie and Ken are "splitting." WHY DO YOU NEWS HACK IDIOTS THINK I'M STUPID?

    P. S. NATCH, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are behind both intelligence insults.

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