Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, March 08, 2004

    Posted 11:52 AM by Gene

    The FRAUD KEN FELATTA bucks himself up by breaking one of the greatest expulsions of wind in human history. News hacks, says this master of gas, are "manufacturing...non-news into news." KENNY, you MANUFACTURED SUMNER into a HERO, you MANUFACTURED JESUS II into a HERO, you MANUFACTURED the WHOLE CAPCITIES GANG into HEROES, you manufactured EVERY @#$%&* MOGUL into a HERO. The next time you speak in public, please -- DOWN A BOTTLE OF DI-GEL FIRST.

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