Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, March 05, 2004

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

I took it at face value Karl Rove was behind those 9/11 ads, not thinking NEWS HACKS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, and will ONLY CITE THOSE PEOPLE WHO CAN PROVE THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT. I suppose my first impulse was to imagine this was just like the visit to the aircraft carrier, which MADE THE PROFESSOR WINCE. But the Ptolemys of the news will campaign for Democrats (and those rare Republicans who think like Democrats) until the universe in which they're the center collapses into one big black hole, and even then they'll blame it on Republicans.

The only real question is, HOW WILL NEWS HACKS RIG THE ELECTION THIS TIME?

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