Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, April 02, 2004

    Posted 3:10 PM by Gene

    "REPUBLICAN VALUES IN THIS COUNTRY ARE BASED UPON A STRONG DEFENSE AND A STRONG INFRASTRUCTURE IN THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!"

    Translation: "IN THIS COUNTRY REPUBLICAN VALUES IN THIS COUNTRY ARE BASED IN THIS COUNTRY ON PORK!!!!!!!!!! IN THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    And Dubya's gonna VETO this pork! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!! Why didn't you veto PRESCRIPTION PORK?

    From now on we will term such idiotic "speechifying" LATOURETTE SYNDROME.

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