Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Friday, April 09, 2004

    Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

    The woods are CRAWLING with SYCOPHANTS ready to turn the most corrupt businessmen into HEROES.

    Couldn't you have run something else for Good Friday, Little Malcolm? Like pictures of the Easter egg collection you were forced to give up?

    P. S. Forbes first alerted me to LOWSY MAYS with some typeset fellatio that repeated lock, stock, and dealer prep LOWSY's line about how he SOLLD MOHR COHRS THAHYN EANY UTHER DEA -- RAAAADIO CHAIN EIYN AMEHYRICA. Thank you, Little Malcolm, for introducing us to such a GREAT MAN.

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