Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, May 02, 2004

Posted 11:36 AM by Gene

The GLIBERAL's fingers have St. Vitus's dance, and his brain TEEMS with conspiracy theories and thoughts of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans. Glib almost seems to smile at the thought of our country going down the drain. (And he can gloat especially hard because it's been proved by THE GREATEST COMPOSER OF ALL TIME.)

Or in other words, THE PAPER OF RECORD could have 10,000 PUBLIC EDITORS, and ONE GLIBERAL would spoil the whole broth.

(And thanks to the very foolish scribbling of ONE PUBLIC EDITOR, we will never refer to it as the Times again, but as THE PAPER OF RECORD -- IN ITALICS.)

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