Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, June 07, 2004

    Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

    As the tourist trap called Broadway sinks further into obscurity, we must remember that the masses once trekked there, making hits the whole nation knew and revered. Now with the masses gone it awards a potty-mouthed puppet show and an arthouse effusion about the likes of our favorite freedom fighter, John Hinckley. (Wink! Wink!) THE PAPER OF RECORD can immortalize them as Show Boats, but then THE PAPER OF RECORD has always excelled at cognitive dissonance.

    P. S. Words STERNO used the other day on THE PAPER OF RECORD's reviewers:

    [They] blather on to try to show how cute they can be....

    ...[B]lowhard....

    This guy should spend his time writing in crayon in the ward. What an insufferable bunch of offensive jibberish.

    I couldn't have said it better myself. Except I might have spelled it better.

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