THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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EMBATTLED Disney CEO Michael Eisner's much-anticipated memoir, "Camp," may be spiked permanently after an argument with the publisher, sources tell PAGE SIX.
Pffh-hh-hh!
"The manuscript [H]e turned in was really boring..."
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
"It was supposed to be more autobiographical, but it was just all about sending your kids to camp. And who wants their kids to turn out like Michael Eisner?"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
[T]he buzz is that the Disney despot plans to step down at the end of the summer and that [H]e's handpicked former Viacom president Mel Karmazin as [H]is successor. The Post reported yesterday that Karmazin has been eyeing the job.
"Eisner trusts Mel," says one of our sources. "They've been talking about him taking over."
REMEMBER BRADLEY HAMMERMASTER!
P. S. I did not capitalize ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's pronoun as he's looking for another Hell -- HEAVEN!!!!!