Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, July 14, 2004

    Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

    Hey GET-A-LIFES! I know you're jumping up and down with glee (or as you'd put it, "This million-dollar-winning Jeopardy contestant causes the show's fans to jump up and down with glee"), so why am I thinking a dreaded three-letter word: FIX?

    P. S. This is from SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT, the same company that invented a movie "critic."

    P. P. S. You IMBECILIC NEWS HACKS have strung the public along even though the masterpiece is taped in advance, five shows in a day -- SO WHY CAN'T YOU BLITHERING IDIOTS KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS?!?!?

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