Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, September 01, 2004

    Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

    ALERT: BUILDING OF PEOPLE SICKENED IN D.C.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    JUST BREAKING...IN A GOVT.BUILDING IN D.C. MASS CASULTIES....EVERYONE IS VERY SICK...BREAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pepper spray.

    THANKS FOR ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO INSPIRE A PANIC, FREE REPUBLIC!!!!!

    (Update at 5:15 PM EDT: Five got eye irritations, and one was hospitalized, after an accident. ALMOST AS BRILLIANT AS THOSE SPEECHES AT THE INFOMERCIAL, FREEPERS!)

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