Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, September 03, 2004

    Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

    CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES MAY BE UP TO NO GOOD: Compare THIS story and THIS story -- and especially consider THIS loaded line:

    Bush's audience of thousands in West Allis, Wis., booed. Bush did nothing to stop them.

    If it's true, I say BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
    But if (as seems likely) CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were CAMPAIGNING, I say

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

    I repeat: This extreme irritant of an election will feature the most partisan hack -- THE MOST NOBLE PUBLIC SERVICE IN NEWS HISTORY.

    And gee, it's a good thing you took today off, ROMY -- not that you'd have paid attention.

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