Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, September 29, 2004

    Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

    It wasn't supposed to be like this: Canada, the world's most PC nation, was supposed to tell EVERYBODY how to think! It had the best of everything -- health care, hockey, John Candy! And now John Candy's gone, and so is hockey, and the health care may follow, and the populace is slumped over its Molson's wondering...WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? EH?!?!?

    There is, of course, only one solution: a merger of this historical irrelevance with us, and independence for the Quebecois, who can then nag us just as heartily as the FRENCH.

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