Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, October 18, 2004

    Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

    GASP!!!!! OMERTA'S BULLETPROOF VEST DAVID "HAIRSHIRT" SHAW SAYS LOUSY REPORTING GAVE DIP A POLL BOUNCE!!!!!!!!!!

    GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Although I've a hunch what Hairshirt WANTS to say (remember NEWS HACK RULE NO. 1: Never use the right word when the wrong one will do) is that DIP! got his bounce because people could finally see the REAL MAN. WON'T WASH, HAIR.

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