Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, October 17, 2004

    Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

    The other day I sent G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER a question:

    WHY IS IT EVERY TIME GOOGLE STOCK GOES UP BLOGGER GETS SLOWER AND SLOWER?!?!?

    I got this (I presume form) answer:

    Hello there [Wasn't that MARTY ALLEN's line? -- ED.],

    Thanks for writing in. Please be assured that we are currently working
    on addressing and fixing the issue that causes this problem with latency
    within the application. I apologize for any inconvenience it may have
    caused.

    Latency I guess means DORMANCY, or perhaps MORIBUNDITY. Whatever the case I had to click on "Publish Post" THREE TIMES before I could get this technological marvel going on my first post today. I repeat, PEOPLE WHO SPECULATE IN G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE DON'T BLOG.

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