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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
-- JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
People aren't supposed to think THIS:
Last night George W. Bush and John Kerry stood in front of America and professed their faith in God Almighty. And, I have to say, now that I know I don't have to sit through another one of these trite, not-so-vaguely insulting spectacles, I'm a believer, too. Praise Him who has delivered me from tired soundbites and bland platitudes.
The only thing more galling than the drivel trickling out of the candidates' mouths was how gleefully serious the media coverage was. A Modesto Bee columnist actually called the debates "enormously informative, even riveting," and on MSNBC Tim Russert gushed, "Since the beginning of time people have been drawn to the town square to listen to those who want to lead us. It's inspiring."
Despite having nothing but cave paintings to go on, I can't help but feel an actual debate between folks from "the beginning of time" would have been more "riveting" than the Bush-Kerry debates. At least then we would have gotten down to some basic alpha male skills: You know, starting fires, winning club fights, evolving. That would be more useful to me than watching two, rich spoiled brats, who have never been denied a single thing they wanted, argue airily about who hates poverty more when neither of them understands the first thing about being poor. They're just babbling on, like Howard Dean talking about his good pal Jesus (The Son of God, not the Son of Emilio). You think the folks in the trailer parks are taking either of these guys seriously? Think again.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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