Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Posted 9:33 AM by Gene

Sterno! STERNO!!!!! RADIO HAS BEEN LIBERATED!!!!!!!!!!! YAHWEH'S DOING HIS SHOW ON SATELLITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GREATEST BROADCASTER IN ALL HISTORY is FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pffh-hh-hh!

OR:

Our financial obligations under the agreement are material, and consist of both fixed and incentive payments. These obligations are payable partly in cash and partly in shares of our common stock. [TRANSLATION: THEY'RE DOING WHAT SUMNER DID!!!!!]

We estimate that we will recoup our fixed obligations under the agreement when we acquire approximately 1,000,000 incremental subscribers. This estimate is based upon a number of significant assumptions (which we believe to be reasonable but which contain significant uncertainties), including the timing and costs of acquiring such subscribers and the length of time such individuals remain subscribers. [And assuming millions of adolescent deadbeats PAY UP.] In addition, if we achieve the incentive milestones contained in the agreement, we believe that the material positive effects on our business will far outweigh the related incentive payments. [Pray, brother-- PRAY!]

Our aggregate fixed obligations under the agreement are approximately $100 million per year. These costs include production and operating costs for the show, including compensation of show cast and staff, overhead, construction costs for a dedicated studio, a budget for the development of additional programming and marketing concepts, and payments to Stern and his agent. [TRANSLATION: They're spending ANNUALLY as much on ka-ka jokes and wee-wee jokes as on a FEATURE FILM!]

We are also obligated to make substantial stock-based incentive payments under the agreement if we significantly exceed agreed upon year-end subscriber targets during the term of the agreement, or acquire material amounts of subscribers during the term directly and trackably through Stern's efforts. [SUMNER SQUARED!!!!!] In addition, upon reaching an agreed upon number of subscribers, we will share a portion of the revenue we derive directly from advertising on the Stern channels [TRANSLATION: The freeloaders will pay up -- AND GET ADS! Big subscriber boost there!], and the revenue we derive from subscribers acquired during the term directly and trackably through Stern's efforts.

We believe that our agreement with Stern will have a material positive benefit to our business, including a positive impact on consumer awareness, average revenue per subscriber, churn [SEASICK ENOUGH?!?!?] and partner relations. Nevertheless, in the event we generate substantially fewer than 1,000,000 subscribers in excess of our current plans due to the addition of Stern to our programming line-up [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!], the large fixed obligations under the agreement with Stern could have a material negative impact on our financial condition and results of operations.

OR:

WHO WANTS TO LAY ODDS ON A CHAPTER XI? (Then again, as P. R. MEL and P. R. MIKE proved, it does not pay to bet against a man with an ARMY REGIMENT of PUBLICISTS.)

P. S. STERNO and YAHWEH, WONKETTE and SEX, ANDY S. and GAY MARRIAGE, little and YASSIR -- WE NEED SOMEONE TO LIBERATE US FROM SUPERMEGABLOGGERS.

P. P. S. Did they mention ADVERTISING and MARKETING COSTS? DIDN'T THINK SO!