Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, October 18, 2004

    Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

    WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sorry STERNO, I'm not impressed. "Nearly 400,000 downloads" sounds impressive -- until you figure that's only about a third of a Nielsen ratings point in households, and less of a percentage in audience; probably the people downloading it were wonks and bloggers. I further suspect Mlle. Airhead and Mme. Big Boobs dwarfed THE NEW EDWARD R. MURROW with their downloads. He does get one thing right, though, admitting between the lines that THE CONSCIENCE OF COMEDY is now as much a professional loudmouth as the cretins regurgitating the news. For all the talk of the new Shakespeare's EPOCHAL SEARING TRUTH this too shall pass, like all the other non-events that will mark our age for history as all surface noise.

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