Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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    Tuesday, November 02, 2004

    Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

    Back to one of my favorite subjects -- the death of the musical:



    This guy -- what does he look like? WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! playing the piano? (although if you gave the guy a piece of music he'd do a story saying a politician was attempting to take over the world with an alien language.) No, it's supposed to be HOAGY CARMICHAEL, and he sings in ANOTHER DEAD-MAN'S REVUE. With so many DEAD MEN writing musicals you wonder why Broadway's producers don't cast in CEMETERIES.

    And the guy's name -- to add to the comedy -- is BILLY PHILADELPHIA. This might prompt W. C. Fields to remark, "On the whole, I'd rather be away from Philadelphia."

    P. S. Playbill.com incorrectly gives the Web site of the theater where this masterpiece is running as "www.ngplayhouse.com." (The link is correct.)

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