Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, November 19, 2004

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

God knows what OSAMAs are out there, so HOLIER-THAN-THOU MORTIMER ZUCK regales his readers with this exceptionally upsetting story. WHAT PURPOSE DOES MORT ZUCK SERVE BY RUNNING THIS? WHY DO WE HAVE TO KNOW EVERY DEVASTATING PRIVATE TRAGEDY THAT COMES DOWN THE BLOCK? DOES IT REALLY HELP YOUR INFLATED CIRCULATION, ZUCK?????

YOU SENT THREE REPORTERS ON THIS, ZUCK -- THREE MORE THAN YOU NO DOUBT SENT ON OSAMA BEFORE HE DESTROYED THE WTC AND KILLED 2,700 PEOPLE.

ZUCK'S EXCUSE: "Well, um, uh, such stories create COMPASSION for the VICTIMS of these HORRIBLE CRIMES."

Um, ZUCK, have you ever heard of COMPASSION FATIGUE?

ZUCK'S MORE LIKELY EXCUSE: "Haven't seen the paper." (Operative 12:00:01 a.m. Sunday to 11:59:59 Saturday.)

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