Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Friday, November 19, 2004


God knows what OSAMAs are out there, so HOLIER-THAN-THOU MORTIMER ZUCK regales his readers with this exceptionally upsetting story. WHAT PURPOSE DOES MORT ZUCK SERVE BY RUNNING THIS? WHY DO WE HAVE TO KNOW EVERY DEVASTATING PRIVATE TRAGEDY THAT COMES DOWN THE BLOCK? DOES IT REALLY HELP YOUR INFLATED CIRCULATION, ZUCK?????

YOU SENT THREE REPORTERS ON THIS, ZUCK -- THREE MORE THAN YOU NO DOUBT SENT ON OSAMA BEFORE HE DESTROYED THE WTC AND KILLED 2,700 PEOPLE.

ZUCK'S EXCUSE: "Well, um, uh, such stories create COMPASSION for the VICTIMS of these HORRIBLE CRIMES."

Um, ZUCK, have you ever heard of COMPASSION FATIGUE?

ZUCK'S MORE LIKELY EXCUSE: "Haven't seen the paper." (Operative 12:00:01 a.m. Sunday to 11:59:59 Saturday.)

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