THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Ohio Man Breaks National All-Time Record for Cash-In of Largest Collection of Pennies, With Final Count Reaching 1,048,013 Weighing in at 3.5 Tons and Valued at $10,480.13
His name wouldn't be Frank WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDHORN, would it?
Sadly, no:
Coinstar, Inc. (Nasdaq: CSTR) announced today that 78-year-old Eugene J. Sukie, a retired glass plant worker/supervisor from Barberton, Ohio broke a national all-time record, along with the company's standing record for the most pennies collected and cashed-in at a Coinstar machine by a single customer. Sukie, who celebrates his 79th birthday later this month, and his wife...
...who promptly got a divorce....
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!