Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Friday, November 12, 2004

    Posted 11:30 AM by Gene

    The last word on THE ARAB WORLD'S HERO:

    "Don't cry Zahwa. Your father never cried."

    That's putting it mildly.

    P. S.

    President Bashar al-Assad of Syria and King Abdullah II of Jordan, both of whose fathers had long sparred with Mr. Arafat, attended, as did Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. The presidents of Algeria, Tunisia, Yemen, Sudan and Lebanon were there, along with a host of princes from the royal houses of the Gulf.

    The corruption is INCALCULABLE.

    P. P. S.

    "What a shame, what a shame, Arafat's funeral was at the airport!"

    We could have thought of several hundred better places, mostly subterranean -- but given Yasser was 9/11'S GODFATHER the location was quite apt.

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