THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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Shucks, the man whose face inspired the NEWS HACK'S CREED is ending his column.
Now if only more of his fellow overpaid pundits could join him.
P. S.
But even during the drug-induced brilliance of 1970s Hollywood [i.e., "I READ PETER BISKIND! YAAAAAAY!!!!!"], Wasserman's taste at Universal was always conservative, middle-aged, and middlebrow: no Coppolas, no Altmans, no Scorseses.
A man who can type like this is CW to the CORE. Sure you really want to quit? You and SOB's paper go WELL together.
P. P. S. While that last statement is undoubtedly true, fact is he was forced out, and he likens himself to Mary McGrory. Is there a connection here?
P. P. P. S. Professor is sad to see him go because he was "fair." Maybe, but you have to wonder how fair a contributor to USAOKAY!!!!! and TWXSTER rag can be. I remember being annoyed enough with his write-by-numbers Lew Wasserman column to e-mail him. A man who can think CW about show-biz is going to think CW about anything.