Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, January 19, 2005

    Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

    This is too easy. A DONALD musical has infinite possibilities in satire. Think of all the songs to parody! We start off with the TRUMPSTER in a vault singing "We're In the Money" (only it's our DAD's money) and we end it with ol' DON on his knees, pleading to his bondholders before being handcuffed, "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" It's RICH -- I mean, it's LOADED with possibilities -- not the least of them being the DONALD, who is a walking musical comedy without a tune.

    And maybe we can steal a few melodies from the opera too! I'm thinking The Barber of Seville -- in honor of THE TRUMPSTER'S HAIR.

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