Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

8/28/11 - 9/4/11

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12/27/09 - 1/3/10

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3/22/09 - 3/29/09

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2/22/09 - 3/1/09

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2/1/09 - 2/8/09

1/25/09 - 2/1/09

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1/11/09 - 1/18/09

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11/2/08 - 11/9/08

10/26/08 - 11/2/08

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8/31/08 - 9/7/08

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1/27/08 - 2/3/08

1/20/08 - 1/27/08

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12/30/07 - 1/6/08

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12/9/07 - 12/16/07

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8/26/07 - 9/2/07

8/19/07 - 8/26/07

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7/29/07 - 8/5/07

7/22/07 - 7/29/07

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6/24/07 - 7/1/07

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5/27/07 - 6/3/07

5/20/07 - 5/27/07

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4/29/07 - 5/6/07

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3/25/07 - 4/1/07

3/18/07 - 3/25/07

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3/4/07 - 3/11/07

2/25/07 - 3/4/07

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1/28/07 - 2/4/07

1/21/07 - 1/28/07

1/14/07 - 1/21/07

1/7/07 - 1/14/07

12/31/06 - 1/7/07

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8/21/05 - 8/28/05

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2/27/05 - 3/6/05

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2/6/05 - 2/13/05

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1/16/05 - 1/23/05

1/9/05 - 1/16/05

1/2/05 - 1/9/05

12/26/04 - 1/2/05

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8/1/04 - 8/8/04

7/25/04 - 8/1/04

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7/4/04 - 7/11/04

6/27/04 - 7/4/04

6/20/04 - 6/27/04

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3/28/04 - 4/4/04

3/21/04 - 3/28/04

3/14/04 - 3/21/04

3/7/04 - 3/14/04

2/29/04 - 3/7/04

2/22/04 - 2/29/04

2/15/04 - 2/22/04

2/8/04 - 2/15/04

2/1/04 - 2/8/04

1/25/04 - 2/1/04

1/18/04 - 1/25/04

1/11/04 - 1/18/04

1/4/04 - 1/11/04

12/28/03 - 1/4/04

12/21/03 - 12/28/03

12/14/03 - 12/21/03

12/7/03 - 12/14/03

11/30/03 - 12/7/03

11/23/03 - 11/30/03

11/16/03 - 11/23/03

11/9/03 - 11/16/03

11/2/03 - 11/9/03

10/26/03 - 11/2/03

10/19/03 - 10/26/03

10/12/03 - 10/19/03

10/5/03 - 10/12/03

9/28/03 - 10/5/03

9/21/03 - 9/28/03

9/14/03 - 9/21/03

9/7/03 - 9/14/03

8/31/03 - 9/7/03

8/24/03 - 8/31/03

8/17/03 - 8/24/03

8/10/03 - 8/17/03

8/3/03 - 8/10/03

7/27/03 - 8/3/03

7/20/03 - 7/27/03

7/13/03 - 7/20/03

7/6/03 - 7/13/03

6/29/03 - 7/6/03

6/22/03 - 6/29/03

6/15/03 - 6/22/03

6/8/03 - 6/15/03

6/1/03 - 6/8/03

5/25/03 - 6/1/03

5/18/03 - 5/25/03

5/11/03 - 5/18/03

5/4/03 - 5/11/03

4/27/03 - 5/4/03

4/20/03 - 4/27/03

4/13/03 - 4/20/03

4/6/03 - 4/13/03

3/30/03 - 4/6/03

3/23/03 - 3/30/03

3/16/03 - 3/23/03

3/9/03 - 3/16/03

3/2/03 - 3/9/03

2/23/03 - 3/2/03

2/16/03 - 2/23/03

2/9/03 - 2/16/03

2/2/03 - 2/9/03

1/26/03 - 2/2/03

1/19/03 - 1/26/03

1/12/03 - 1/19/03

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

I have an idea: every year, on the anniversary of JOHNNY's death, all America should stand for ten minutes and recite HIS FINAL MONOLOGUE. It should be taught in every school, as Shakespeare's plays and Lincoln's speeches were, as a TESTAMENT TO THE AGES. Imagine the surpassing dignity, the solemn pride of the occasion, as millions in unison say:

Around the studio (studiostudio [Lou Gehrig echo]), we are still (stillstill) on an emotional high (highhigh) from last night (nightnight)....

I further propose that a taxpayer-paid copy be sent to every school child in America -- with a foreword by GEORGE W. BUSH.

I repeat: JOHNNY'S DEAD. Now may we PLEASE SHUT UP?????

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