Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

    Blogroll Me!

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    Friday, February 11, 2005

    Posted 12:50 PM by Gene

    My local neighborhood formerly-salsa-playing, premature-ejaculation-discussing MICKEY D's has DONE IT AGAIN -- this time with tray liners for

    THE FLYERS' SKATE ZONE!!!!!

    LET'S GO FLYERS! (CLAP! CLAP! CLAPCLAPCLAP!)
    LET'S GO FLYERS! (CLAP! CLAP! CLAPCLAPCLAP!)

    That shouldn't be too hard.

    One other thing: when the MICK's counterlady gave me the wrong item she threw the offending mistake into the trash. How much food does MICKEY D'S waste in a year? I wonder if those ever-upward numbers are as much a figment as anything in BERNIE EBBERS'S HEAD.

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