Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, March 10, 2005

    Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

    THE GLIBERAL'S latest op-ed piece reminds us that THE LORD GOD PINCH (or rather, one of His functionaries) will soon announce a SUC-CESS-SOR to the PUBLIC EDI-TOR. It is clear God had no intention of making that meaningless post into anything but a shoulder for disaffected readers to cry on, and feel better. Daniel served that useless purpose, but it's not clear he was good at anything else -- which happily was the whole point. God knows who writes the Bible of American Newspapering, and it ain't Mr. Okrent.

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