Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, April 10, 2005

    Posted 7:50 AM by Gene

    I can hear MR. MARK now: "Why did that g-----n Pope have to die at the end of the week? Why did he have to be so popular? Sighhhhhhhhhh, now we have to devote TWO issues to him. All these holy-rolling -- well, I guess, Catholics aren't such holy rollers, but dammit! Why couldn't we plug -- er, feature Mariah Carey on the cover? Why do we have to waste so much of our space on a dead body?"

    Why do 3,000,000 dimwits waste so much money on YOU?

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