Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

    Blogroll Me!

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    Friday, April 08, 2005

    Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

    OOOOOoooooh, the SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER, which merrily traipses through the American village flinging huge wads of money at anyone resembling a Hollywood producer or newspaper publisher, and yells, "We don't care what you do with our money -- just spend spend SPEND!!", has pulled its ads from TRIB's LALA paper because -- it said naughty words about the company!!!!!

    This is stirring behavior -- especially since as a member of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS it hews by the central rule of the ASWIA Code that "Good taste is censorship, and any member of this Society who practices it is subject to forfeiture of membership." Excellent, CLUNKER! This rivals anything you've done since UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED!

    P. S. $10 MILLION! BAD TV, HERE WE COME!!!!!

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