Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, April 17, 2005

    Posted 11:53 AM by Gene

    Which will not stop us HIGH-AND-HOLY-CHURCH-GOING NEWS HACKS from CAMPAIGNING:

    The profile of a pope who knows how to communicate and to bridge cultural and religious divides fits a number of the 115 cardinals assembling in the conclave that begins Monday. Those contenders include Brazil's Claudio Hummes, Argentina's Jorge Bergoglio and Austria's Christoph Schoenborn.

    Both Hummes, 70, and Bergoglio, 68, have been highly visible advocates for the poor, questioning the benefits of globalization and free-market policies.

    TRANSLATION: Please, please, PRETTY PLEASE, be for abortions, please, PLEASE!!!!!

    Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles dismissed the possibility of a pope from such countries as France or Germany, where "practically nobody goes to church."

    "What we are looking for is how to have the future pope be somebody who represents a dynamic part of the world," Mahony said.

    TRANSLATION: Why not a country in a dynamic part of the world where practically nobody goes to church? FURTHER TRANSLATION: Why not ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!

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