Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, May 07, 2005

    Posted 6:54 PM by Gene

    At the foot of Headhouse Square in a late beautiful mild afternoon a bunch of about thirty very joyous young people stood waving placards imploring, "HONK 4 HEMP!" Many did. One poster read,

    Man made beer...God made POT!
    WHO [sic] DO YOU TRUST?

    If I had a fraction of whatever made those people so happy, I'd take it -- so long as it was legal.

    Then some cute teenage girls in shorts and short skirts came walking by and I remembered what God was for.

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