Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, May 08, 2005

    Posted 7:40 AM by Gene

    Aw C'MON, MR. MARK, when are you going to unveil more of the age's SHOW-BIZ GENIUS! When will your again trumpet the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of DUBYA? Well, we will say this -- you've beat U. S. News at its own game: an ANNUAL RANKING OF HIGH SCHOOLS! NEWS YOU CAN USE!® (Or as we call it around our precinct, Use-LESS News.) Thankfully we're still telling the TRUTH about IRAQ -- "grim," "puppet regime" -- but Mr. Mark, THE LORD GOD ST. WARREN EXPECTS MORE FROM YOU! Can you do it? WE THOUGHT SO!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!

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