Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, May 10, 2005

    Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

    It takes LOTS of HIGH-POWERED MUCKY MUCKS and a WELL-PAID SCRIBBLER for THE PAPER OF RE-CORD to say EXACTLY WHAT I SAID ON SUNDAY!

    Not to worry; as I said, come September you'll probably be beaming of your lucky streak and hitting us over the head again. But we can hope.

    P. S. Jack "Let's Sneak This Under the FTC's Nose" Fithian burps, "The long-term trends are still positive, he added, referring to an increase in theatrical admissions in the past three decades." How many went to the movies in 1940? In 1920? No, yours is STILL the ONLY business that MAKES IT A VIRTUE TO WALL OFF TWO-THIRDS OF YOUR POTENTIAL AUDIENCE.

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