Posted 4:21 PM by Gene

More evidence that Western Civilization Is Near Death: At a certain point in "House of Wax," Paris Hilton catches what appears to be four feet of sharpened spear through the front of her skull. She backs off a few feet with the unwelcome protrusion extending before her, then topples to her knees, falling forward, driving the shaft through more brain matter. The skull itself cracks.

The audience cheers wildly.

But that's not the scary part.

The scary part was the elderly gentleman sitting in the seat behind the guy in front of me: He cheered, too. I think he sorta kinda liked it.

More evidence that The Washington Post and JERNALISM are near death -- that this piece of DOGGIE-DOO gets printed.

We were prepared to give this P-Ulitzer winner a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD -- we sorta kinda think we should -- but the WaPost site wouldn't let us access this (it was under repair, pffh-hh-hh), just as well as the numbers prove that only P-Ulitzer winners are believing enough to think the people WANT to see RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s girlfriend, unwelcome protrusions or otherwise.

P. S. The HACKS lately have been making loud pouting noises about how much abuse they get. Any hack who chooses to write badly and offensively deserves all the abuse he gets.

P. P. S. MEMO TO SAMMY GLICKMAN and JACK "THE POPCORN AIRHEAD" FITHIAN: I DON'T think selling R movies to minors works QUITE as well as it used to. WHICH REMINDS US: JUNE is RATINGS AWARENESS MONTH!!! HERE'S A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION!!!!! I MEAN, HERE!!!!! (NOTE: 5.4MB of BULL. Maybe they'll stick it -- I mean the slides between the ads. Idiots. More later.)