Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, July 20, 2005

    Posted 2:13 PM by Gene



    THE GRANDEST STOOGE OF JERNALISM'S AT IT AGAIN:

    Editor's Note: The following story may contain spoilers. If you'd rather not know anything, stop reading now.

    CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), anytime you BREAK WIND out of your NEWS HOLE you SPOIL my DAY.

    By the way, I've got a new motto for your voluminous -- output: IF YOU'D RATHER NOT KNOW ANYTHING, START READING NOW.

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