Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, August 12, 2005

    Posted 8:08 AM by Gene

    1,524 WORDS.

    Now what do you suppose these 1,524 words could be about? Iraq? No. The budget? No That new pork-barrel highway spending bill? No. Health care? Education? Mass transit? Employment? NO. I'm having the foggiest time figuring out what all these words could be about!

    Wait a second -- it's coming to me -- something about money, and, and tea...tea -- OH! I've got it -- T. O.! Or rather
    T. O.
    Now I like a good laugh as much as anybody, and certainly in this age we need distractions, as LORD KNOWS SHOW-BIZ isn't providing them. But somehow laughter and CONSCIENTIOUS NEWS REPORTING are NOT compatible. I would wager the InkyDinkyDooDoo and the Nooz have spilled more foul-smelling ink about this salary dispute than they have about health care, education, mass transit -- and it's getting so I'm further willing to bet COMBINED. TONY and his boys at THE TOWER OF BABBLE may be FATTENING THEIR WALLETS, but they sure are SKINNYING OUR BRAINS.

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