THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Demi Moore apparently loves 'sharing a bath' and 'snuggling up naked' with boy toy Ashton Kutcher.
Too much information, Demi.
And I don't even know you. Imagine what your poor kids have to deal with in homeroom.
Rumer, 17, Scout, 14, and Tallulah, 11, must have flipped when flipping through the pages of September's Harper's Bazaar, where Mommy, 42, blabbed about her steamy love life with her twenty-something boyfriend of two years.
Yuck.
TRANSLATION: I PAID FOR THESE BREASTS AND I INTEND TO KEEP THEM!