Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Thursday, August 11, 2005

    Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

    Congratulations, GENERAL JR.! We've waited a LONG TIME for this! And we suspect you and the GENERAL will be exchanging endless pointers on how to make BIG, BIG BUCKS -- WHILE THUMBING YOUR NOSES AT THE PUBLIC!

    And congratulations to YOU, 'DREW, for getting the identity of MGM MIRAGE right -- or as PINCH would have you call it, "METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER"! That's what they pay you the BIG, BIG BUCKS for! Right, 'Drew?

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