THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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The former head of a suburban Chicago school system stole thousands of dollars -- including milk money and library fees -- from one of the poorest districts in the state so he and his family could live the high life, prosecutors said Tuesday.
Police raided Thomas Ryan's house last week and seized $730,000 in cash from a basement safe and envelopes scattered throughout the home, prosecutor Richard Devine said. Officers had to use laundry baskets to cart out the wads of cash.
Ryan spent about $70,000 in stolen money to pay for three daughters' college tuition, prosecutors said. He also reimbursed himself for about $1,000 in Chicago Blackhawks hockey tickets and gave his daughters thousands in cash as graduation presents, Ryan [SIC?] said.
DOUBLE-, TRIPLE- and QUADRUPLE-MORON:
Ryan, who had been superintendent since 1990 and earned $183,000 a year....
WHATSA MATTA? COST OF LIVING WENT UP?