Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Saturday, August 06, 2005


Of all the things that have sucked the joy out of sport few have been more deadly than the professional fan and his sidekick in obsessive-compulsivism the FANTASY-LEAGUE PHREAK, both abetted and ruled over by the FRED FLINTSTONES of RADIO. These millionaire loudmouths expect perfection, and when they don't get it they go on self-righteous tears, as if batting averages and sacks really matter. They have not achieved anything until their names burst out in BIG BLACK HEDS: [FILL IN THE BLANK] SUSPENDED FOR ATTACK ON [FILL IN THE BLANK]. Indeed the Freds are no different from STERNO's heroes except they don't tell eenie-weenie-peenie jokes. Their constant badmouthing is at the heart of the mercenariness of sport and helps explain the big-biceped druggies. If this is the price one must pay to be a sports fan I'm not buying.

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